My Casa: Before and After: The Bathroom

So I was busy typing away my recap last night while watching The Bachelor when suddenly it hit me: I hate this f*&#ing show. The bachelor himself sucks big time and the girls are even worse. The tears and the drama and the flat hair (for the love, Monica, poof that shit!) were making my brain cells die a slow and painful death. I would be much better suited watching, say, Keeping Up with the Kardashians. At least that baby's alcoholic father on the show can offer me a few chuckles.

So today I'm going to start a little series called My Casa: Before and After. See, my house often looks like a tornado blew through. I do not have a model home type look. Ever. For one, I don't aspire to keep up a model home look. If no one is sitting on old food and there is no mold to be found, who gives a poppycock (look it up) if my home passes the white glove test. I believe in clean, yes. But clutter and disheveled-ness does not put a damper on my otherwise good day. This is not to say that I don't lo-uh-uh-uh-oooooooove a sparkling clean home. Because I do. It makes me all tingly inside when it looks like no one lives here. When it looks like a model home. The thing is, people don't actually live in model homes. And to try and keep up with that standard is just not appealing to me what.so.ever.

Anal I am not. And thank God I have a husband who doesn't demand that since I am "home all day" that all the laundry better be done and his dinner be piping hot and ready for him the second he walks in the door. (Does that really happen?) He just demands food eventually and lots of sex.

Ahem.

Today's before and after transformation features the master bathroom. (I did a little home tour once before on this blog, you can see it here if you like.) Now. I know I said earlier that I am not anal retentive and that a little clutter doesn't faze me, but this?





That is not okay!

I can't even tell you how many things my curling iron has burned/melted/blown up because it has no room for itself to sit safely. So after a few hours (hey I work slow) and one garbage can full, this is what we are left with:


(oops. obviously I forgot to windex hubbys side of the mirror)

beauty to my eyes. There's just something about a clean space that makes you feel so much better about life, don't you agree?



Tidy. Orderly. Methodical. Neat as a pin. All things that don't describe me but things I occasionally get pleasure out of. I say occasionally because it will be back to shambles in exactly two days. Mark my words. And I'm totally ok with that.

I also organized and freshened up my cabinets and makeup drawer. I had no idea I was such a product hoarder. I had things tucked way in the back that had expired in 2008!! That's four years ago! Anywho, after all was said and done, this is my new and improved product cabinet:



What you are looking at there is

4 shine serums
5 leave-in conditioners
4 different kinds of hairspray
13 hair "products" aka smoothing cream, styling lotion, dry shampoo, etc.
6 shimmer body sprays/lotions
10 different kinds of face lotion
6 self tanners
and 1 bottle of cod liver oil vitamins.

E.
gads.

On to the makeup. Turns out I have an overabundance of that too.



And the saddest part? I wear maybe one quarter of one quarter of this stuff. Nonetheless, just like I can't get rid of any of my clothing because "what if" one day I am skinny enough to wear it, I also couldn't throw out any of my makeup because "what if" one day it is imperative that I wear five different kinds of foundation. At once. (Hey, some people do it. You know you've seen them.)



And since I already told you I only wear a small percentage of this chaos, I thought I would do you a great big favor and report in on my blog duty to share with you guys the absolutely best items that I do wear daily, that I think any self-respecting lady should never be without.

1. Benefit boi-ing under eye concealer. I wake up with dark circles every morning and this stuff covers it up like a picnic. No comments on my under eyes circles being caused by mass amounts of red wine. I prefer to live in ignorance on that topic, kapeesh?

2. The Naked palette. Obviously. (Did you know they just came out with a Naked 2 palette?)

3. Nars orgasm illuminator. Another obvious cult product. And for good reason. This stuff is amaze.

4. Two-faced sun bunny bronzer. I have tried every single bronzer under the sun and this comes out on top. Hi I'm Raven and I'm a bronzer-aholic.

5. e.l.f. mineral infused mascara. I used to be a die hard fan of Diorshow mascara, until Lindsey turned me on to this. I never thought I would convert to something else, but I am sold. People ask me constantly if I am wearing falsies. And for $20 less? I'll take it.

6. Makeup Forever HD foundation. Like bronzers, I have tried every foundation out there. Always looking for something better, something more even and flawless. After this find? I'm done looking. (And it goes on seamlessly and blends like a dream with this brush.)

7. And finally, Urban Decay Razor Sharp Ultra Definition Finishing Powder. The price is steep, but the results are a-ma-zing.  Just read the description and reviews, and you'll be sold like me.

And that my dear friends, is the first installment of Before and After: My Casa: 
The Master Bathroom.


Deep stuff here on this ol' blog, deep stuff.

ps. Just to keep my non-makeup obsessed, hair product non-whores interested, I have a slew of posts planned for the end of this week and next. Things like "how I never thought I would be a hippie-ish/liberal-ish mother" and my reasoning on why I have my children go by an alternative vaccine schedule. See ya on the smart worthwhile non-vain flip side.