A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers

My thoughts on vaccines: A little deeper

2012-02-01T20:55:00.000-08:00

I had so much response to my previous post on vaccines and naturopathy and so many of you had questions, and today I'm going to answer those. But first, let me make a few things clear. Plainly, I am not a doctor. This is my opinion. An opinion based on many what I consider to be facts but nonetheless, my opinion still. And to those of you that got all pissy on my last post about the "horrendous disservice" I am doing to people reading my blog by steering them the wrong way, I highly doubt that any mother is going to choose whether to vaccinate or not vaccinate their child based on this little ol' blog of mine.

Let's get real here people. The whole reason I am writing this is because a) I'm very passionate about this subject & it's my blog to write about whatever I choose and b) many, many people are interested in this topic. And getting as much knowledge as possible is always a good thing. Hopefully my discussions on this will help others who are curious to go out and do their own research, so they can make their own educated decisions.

Your questions.
(all links in...peach? I guess that's the color you would call it...)

Can non-immunized children attend school: YES, they can. There is a waiver form you can fill out that will allow your non-vaccinated kids to go to public school. You just state your personal/religious reasoning as to why you are doing so. They only ask that you temporarily remove your child from the school if there is any kind of outbreak, which seems pretty obvious to me. A lot of people don't know this is an option because of the misconception that kids HAVE to be up to date to attend public school. Because yes, most often the school system will say your children has to be immunized but if you ask them for a waiver form, they have to give it you and they have to accept your child. It was very hard for me to find an actual credible link on the internet concerning this subject, because the CDC does NOT want parents knowing this is an option. But it is, in ALL 50 states. You can see here and here.

Where do you find a naturopathic doctor? How does your husband feel about delaying vaccines and using a naturopath for your kids? I found my naturopathic doctor here in town, recommended to me by a friend who knew I was looking for someone who believed in a delayed vaccine schedule. That was my first and foremost reason for going to her, but as I learned more and more, it is also why I decided that for the first few years of my kids' life, I would give them homeopathic medicine when they needed it. As for my husband, this wasn't a big topic of concern for him personally, but he trusts me and was fine with it once I told him that by the time our kids reach Kindergarten age, they would be totally up-to-date with the recommended vaccine schedule. He has gone to quite a few doctors appointments with me and always discusses with her any concerns he has.

As for finding a naturopathic doctor where you live, I would just research and see where the nearest one is (if you are interested, that is.) I live in a pretty small town (we don't even have a Nordstrom for crying out loud, nor a Chik-filet! The horror...) and we have at least two local naturopaths that I know of.

Since you practice naturopathy, if your kids get really really sick, will you hold out on giving them modern medicine? That depends, what is your idea of really really sick? My idea of really really sick would be if one of my children (God forbid) got cancer or the like. If that ever happened, I would absolutely run to the nearest hospital and get them all the help and treatment possible. But if my kids sport a fever or cough, I give them the natural remedy medicines that my naturopath provides. And I have been SO pleased with the results. I do this because of my own personal research where I have found the side-effects and the allergic outbreaks to be more of a risk than I want to take. And besides, when I truly believe (again, through my own research) that holistic medicines can heal my child without any harmful side-effects, why wouldn't I choose to do so? However, I am so! not! against! modern medicine! Which brings me to my next question...

Are you against modern medicine then? Again, I love modern medicine. How can you not? In a day and age where people are getting cured of diseases that wiped out hundreds of thousands of people in the past, it would be pretty silly to deny the amazing effects of the conventional medicine of today. I am a pain wussy and I demanded to be pumped full of meds while giving birth so I could be as pain-free as possible. I have a medicine cabinet full of tylenol and aspirin, and use it whenever I feel a headache coming on. If I start feeling really sick, I get my butt to the regular doctor's office and get my Rx immediately. I hate being sick and no, I don't deny myself or my children the wonderful effects of modern medicine. And in my original post, I wasn't talking about modern medicine whatsoever, I was talking about vaccines and why I choose a different route. Are we clear? Good.

You said that you don't follow a naturopathic lifestyle but your kids do, why is that? Because I believe that the first few years of a child's life when their brain is growing and developing, that that is the most important time to be very careful of what substances you put in their tiny little bodies. I believe that too many vaccines given at once too early can overload the system and "contribute greatly" to certain development disorders. When my kids are older, like school age, I will probably take them to a regular doctor for the most part.

Are you constantly driving to the doctor's office since you give them a delayed vax schedule? Not really. They get one shot every two weeks, and after they are caught up on the first round, they don't start again 'til a few months later. When I do go, the doctor appointment is super short, no more than 15 minutes. And it's not demanded that I go every two weeks either. I can go once a month if I like to get my child a shot. Two weeks is just the shortest amount of time my doctor will go before giving them another shot. Oh, and btw, someone stated that you have to get the follow-up shots within a certain time frame or they are rendered ineffective. I asked my doctor this exact question the other day and she said that is absolutely not true. But you don't have to take my her word for it.

Does your insurance cover your naturopathic doctor? Actually, we just moved over to a new insurance company, and I think they might cover some of the costs. However, up until now, our insurance did not cover it, but it is not that expensive. Our naturopath doesn't require any co-pays (obviously) and there is a $15 fee every time my kid gets a shot.

Do you think diseases like the mumps and measles are being re-introduced into society because people are not vaccinating their children? I agree that it is possible that mothers who completely don't vaccinate could possibly be putting other kids at risk for serious diseases. But the REASON these parents do so is because of the huge increase in other childhood developmental disorders that seem to directly correlate with the increasing vaccine schedule. In 1983, the CDC had a recommended guideline of ten vaccines to be given. Today, there are more than THIRTY SIX. When the vaccine schedule rose, so did the number of children being diagnosed with development disorders. At the same time. There is so much new information out there, and hundreds upon thousands of testimonies of actual mothers where they said their child was developing totally 100% normal, right up until they got a certain cocktail of shots, and almost immediately, their child was NEVER the same again. All we want is OPTIONS, and not to feel bad or pressured by doctors or go through the trouble of finding a naturopath just so we can get a damn alternative vaccine schedule.

Make sure your sources are sound, don't believe everything you read on the internet, etc. This is usually the rebuttal I get back when it comes to this topic. Is there false information on the internet? Of course. There are websites that say the earth is flat, sites that swear Elvis is still alive and quite a few dedicated to "actual photos" of Bigfoot sightings. But there is also a wealth of accurate and helpful information on the web. If I visit weather.com and it tells me that the current temp outside is 72 degrees, should I assume it's false and scream "LIES! It's all LIES I tell ya!" Exactly. Would it make you feel better if I said I got my research from actual published hardcover books written by experts at the library? (which I also did) or if I talked to actual doctors with degrees? (which I also did). But to discount someone because of what they found on "Google U" is just ridiculous. The internet is a fabulous place to research and learn about things. And I am just giving my opinion from what I have researched. Guess what? You are more than welcome to do the same.

Do your kids go to a chiropractor? No. Just because I don't see a need for them to go. My dad goes frequently and swears by it.

But you know that mercury has been removed from vaccines, right? Absolutely false. Thimerosal, a vaccine preservative that is approx. 50% mercury by weight, is found in the DTaP vaccine and the flu vaccine, both of which are recommended to our infants/kids by the CDC. See here for all the ingredients found in vaccines. Until they fix this, my children will never get the flu vaccine. Same goes with the chickenpox.

In turn, my final thoughts are that vaccines are the largest growing division of the pharmaceutical industry, 13+ billion, and they control the medical schools where our doctors are being taught. The vaccine industry vehemently denies any connection between vaccines and developmental disorders but could you imagine if they did admit it? There would be a huge firestorm of angry parents and a probable boycott of vaccines altogether, which in turn would present our kids with the possibility of contracting a deadly disease and oh yeah, the vaccine industry would lose a lot to money. Like billions.

I'm not saying I am anti-vaccine. I'm not at all. Like I have stated many times here on this blog, my kids will have almost all the recommended vaccines (besides the ones stated above, and the flu shot isn't required) by the time they reach school age. We need them to stay safe and healthy. What I am saying is that until I feel comfortable enough with all the knowledge I have learned to turn my kids over to what mainstream medicine says should be "the norm," I will continue to have my kids vaccinated by a delayed, unconventional (for now) schedule.

My friend Michelle sent me the following video and it totally struck a cord with me.

Watch.

It's just about being informed. The funny thing is, I am not pushing my beliefs on this issue on anyone. I don't screech at people who go by the recommend vaccine schedule of the AAP. This is the route I have decided to take for my children based on the research that I have done.

Something else I found interesting (and maddening unbelievable) that really put the nail in the coffin for me on this issue? An episode of Larry King Live where he interviewed Jenny McCarthy. And please, no "her?! She's a former Playboy bunny, why in God's name would you take anything she has to say seriously?" Since her son was diagnosed with autism in 2005, she has dedicated her life to the cause and has relentlessly researched the issues with a slew of experts and doctors. I find her incredibly inspiring when it comes to making vaccines safer for our kids, my kids, and if it's a topic you want to learn more on, I would highly recommend you watch this video right here. There are five parts to the video, and they play continuously when you start the first one. She is joined by medical doctors who are on both sides of the issue. VERY interesting.

I would also like to say that I am not trying to be a "speaker" or "knowledgeable person" when it comes to autism in our children. I don't have a child with autism and I know it is a very sensitive subject, and I would never want someone to think I was taking on that platform. I'll leave that to someone like Mrs. McCarthy, and all the hundreds of other mothers who have testimonies just like hers.

ps. here is a really good online resource I found about questions to ask yourself before you decide what vaccination route you want to take.

If I were President

2012-01-31T13:06:00.000-08:00

(I added a mustache because let's be honest -- a woman won't get elected anytime soon.
At least as long as I'm alive. Hey, don't hate the player, hate the game.)

Let's get started.

If I were President...

* Michael Moore would be banished to Croatia. (Apologies to any of my croatian readers. Nothing against you personally, I would just want him to get as far the hell out of here as possible. Don't know who he is? See here.)

* There would be a flat tax. Period. No ifs, ands or ~~liberals~~ butts about it.

* Bike riders in spandex would only be allowed to ride on designated biking lanes. No more of this sharing the road with actual cars with motors in turn forcing me to slam on my breaks/slow down to 30 under the speed limit/swerve so I don't hit you nonsense. (This also goes for non-spandex bike riders.)

* You abuse a child ONCE, that's it. That child will then be placed with a loving, caring, nurturing couple who have been desperately wanting a child of their own to love. Kids are defenseless and never, ever deserve to be abused in any way. One strike, you're out. President Smith don't mess around.

* On that same note, if you abuse a child in the worst way possible (we all know what I am talking about) you go to prison for life. Hopefully get the death penalty, but life in prison, nonetheless. None of this "out in five years for good behavior" bullshit. How hard is it to be on your best behavior in prison anyway? It's not like they offer up helpless defenseless kids to these bastards.

* Spongebob Squarepants would be banned from television. I swear that's the reason so many kids grow up and commit murder. (I kid people, I kid. Kind of...)

* On that same note, if you murder an innocent person, you go to prison for life. Hopefully get the death penalty, but life in prison, nonetheless. None of this "out in five years for good behavior bullshit. How hard is it to be on your best behavior in prison anyway? It's not like they hand out glock 22's to these mongrels.

* The states would use more of their tax money to build bigger prisons to hold these people, instead of using it for a new Starbucks half a block down from that other Starbucks.

* If you decide to stay at home and raise your child, you get an actual salary from the state. W2 forms and all.

* Hollywood people would not be allowed to give their political opinions.

* Organic, healthy food would cost much less than say, McDonalds. I wouldn't outlaw fast food (this is a free country, people get to make choices) but it would definitely not be the cheapest option.

* If I were the President, in this state of our economy, my "wife" would not be allowed to go on luxurious leisure vacations to Spain, spending hundreds of thousands (millions) of tax-payers dollars just to "sight-see" and have her 5 bodyguards in tow. In fact, I would put her ass to work and make her earn that vacation.

* And finally, everyone would be forced to memorize the words to Britney Spears' "Oops I did it again" and the whole United States of America would bust out in a flash mob and sing it loud and proud.

And that is what I would do if I were President.

What would you do if YOU were President? Go link up with the awesome Erin at Living in Yellow!

ps. I know some of these were serious and some silly, but I truly believe in everything I said. For your most pleasurable experience here, feel free to take everything I say with a grain of salt.
pps. and please, no "well thank GOD you aren't our President" comments. Try to be a little more original than that, k? Thanks anon peeps.

A few randoms

2012-01-30T21:03:00.000-08:00

I updated the "my boys" tabs page, just fyi.

Is pinterest not the best? (you can find me here)

My sissy and her new bf are coming to my house for the Super Bowl next weekend (where he will meet alllll of our family members, God rest his soul) and we are prepared -- with lots and lots of super bowl worthy appetizers all thanks to pinterest. Things like...

this

{individual 7-layer dip}

this

{hot onion & cheese dip}

and this

{baked sweet potato fries}

all via my pinterest "yum" board.

Anyone in the area is welcome to stop by our casa for the football festivities.

And finally, the below video is why singing songs to my almost 2-year old at nighttime is quite the debacle. He laughs. Which in turn makes me laugh. Which in turn makes him laugh. Which in turn, well, you know...

see for yourself...

(there is no picture. it was dark in the room. only audio)

I love him.

A few things...

2012-01-29T23:46:00.000-08:00

Whoa! Lots and lots of different (some really animated) opinions on my last blog post! I thoroughly enjoyed reading every comment (and will be responding back to everyone who asked me a question) and I will also be back sometime this week to elaborate on/discuss further my thoughts on the issue.

Just a few quickies on this Monday morning...

We took the boys to brunch yesterday at the ever so classy Shari's restaurant (it really is a favorite of mine) and Coltster was such a solemn little thing. It was a nice change, actually...

and the waitress kept calling him a "she" during our stay. I never corrected her.

Maybe it has something to do with his amazingly perfect curls he sports...

I love getting letters in the mail from my blog friends like this:

you know who you are...

It's almost snake season at the Smith casa, but in the meantime, I have been putting this little guy out on our garage step...

it's get people every time. I love it.

I am still dying over my nieces. I want to eat them.

Presh.

I did a little side-by-side action of me at my blondest and darkest. Um, what was I thinking?

Why did no one tell me that I looked...not so great as a blonde? Some friends I have...

And finally, my hubs played pro ball and had a sweet ass...

still does, btw.

Why my kids do not get vaccines

2012-01-26T23:21:00.000-08:00

Or rather, let me be more clear by saying that my kids go by a very non-conventional vaccine schedule. My almost four-year old has not yet had the MMR shot, which is standard for toddlers 12-18 months old, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

I do not go by the schedule that the AAP sets as recommended guidelines. My kids did not get the HepB vaccine that is basically customary at birth. I had to almost strong arm the nurses to make sure that my children did not get the HepB vaccine. And I got some sneers from them because of my decision.

See, my boys have gone to a naturopathic doctor since birth. However, I think I should make something clear as day. As much as I believe in naturopathy for my kids, I personally want all the (legal) drugs I can get my hands on (semi-kidding here). Most people who follow the naturopathic lifestyle believe in natural birth, with no pain killers of the sort, but me? Like I said here in my birth story, I demanded to be pumped full of meds to keep from feeling the horrific pain of childbirth.

So, as much as I demand for my kids to abide by a certain unorthodox standard, I myself certainly go by another. Hey, it's called "do as I say, not as I do." And it's a God given right of motherhood.

But really, honestly. I believe 100% wholeheartedly in a naturopathic lifestyle. There are some (standard) vaccines that my kids will never receive. And they never get more than one vaccine shot at a time. Up until two years old, neither of my boys had ever had store bought medicine. They have never had a drop of physician prescribed antibiotics. If they get sick, and they do, their doctor prescribes them all natural herbal medicines. And I have been so pleased by the results. For me personally, raising my kids this way gives me such relief and confidence that I am doing the right thing. For us.

I know what I am about to say is very controversial, but I have researched to the depths about this topic: when I was pregnant for the first time, I spent a lot of my free hours on the computer, researching, reading books, and talking to professionals about my fear of the over-vaccination of our kids. And I believe without a doubt that certain vaccines exacerbate some developmental disorders, such as autism. I am not saying that vaccines cause certain disorders, because of that I am not sure. But I do believe they increase the likelihood if a child is already predisposed to certain disorders. I believe that and I am not afraid to admit it. I keep it real here and this is my space and my opinion, and everyone reading has a right to their own opinion, but for me? I have no doubts and I am completely reassured when it comes to this subject.

I would and could go on and on here, but I have no idea if this is something of interest to my readers. Do you guys actually want me to delve deeper into this issue? To express my thoughts, beliefs, findings and convictions? Do you want to know more about why I feel exactly that our vaccine schedule is doing a disservice to our children? You know me and that I don't shy away from controversial subjects or try and shield my true thoughts for the sake of "politically correctness." I just want to know if this is something that peaks the interest of all ya'll.

If it is? Great. I will go deeper and write more in depth on this topic. If not? I have a million more things on my blog to-do list.

ps. as always, this is my personal opinion. I don't push my opinion on anyone. That is the greatest thing about this country we live in, we are all free to choose and do what we want, and to raise our children in the way we see fit.

pps. I should also state that by the time my kids reach Kindergarten age, they will basically be up-to-date with most of the required vaccines. I just delay some and never have my kids receive more than one at a time.

Just a few things...

2012-01-26T06:00:00.000-08:00

I'm here, but not here today. I'm actually over here revealing 25 facts about me, US Weekly style.

So. Hop on ova and maybe just maybe you will learn something new about yours truly.

And in the meantime, I'll leave you will a few pictures of my main men-squeezies.

Me loves.

My Casa: Before and After: The Bathroom

2012-01-24T21:03:00.000-08:00

So I was busy typing away my recap last night while watching The Bachelor when suddenly it hit me: I hate this f*&#ing show. The bachelor himself sucks big time and the girls are even worse. The tears and the drama and the flat hair (for the love, Monica, poof that shit!) were making my brain cells die a slow and painful death. I would be much better suited watching, say, Keeping Up with the Kardashians. At least that baby's alcoholic father on the show can offer me a few chuckles.

So today I'm going to start a little series called My Casa: Before and After. See, my house often looks like a tornado blew through. I do not have a model home type look. Ever. For one, I don't aspire to keep up a model home look. If no one is sitting on old food and there is no mold to be found, who gives a poppycock (look it up) if my home passes the white glove test. I believe in clean, yes. But clutter and disheveled-ness does not put a damper on my otherwise good day. This is not to say that I don't lo-uh-uh-uh-oooooooove a sparkling clean home. Because I do. It makes me all tingly inside when it looks like no one lives here. When it looks like a model home. The thing is, people don't actually live in model homes. And to try and keep up with that standard is just not appealing to me what.so.ever.

Anal I am not. And thank God I have a husband who doesn't demand that since I am "home all day" that all the laundry better be done and his dinner be piping hot and ready for him the second he walks in the door. (Does that really happen?) He just demands food eventually and lots of sex.

Ahem.

Today's before and after transformation features the master bathroom. (I did a little home tour once before on this blog, you can see it here if you like.) Now. I know I said earlier that I am not anal retentive and that a little clutter doesn't faze me, but this?

That is not okay!

I can't even tell you how many things my curling iron has burned/melted/blown up because it has no room for itself to sit safely. So after a few hours (hey I work slow) and one garbage can full, this is what we are left with:

(oops. obviously I forgot to windex hubbys side of the mirror)

beauty to my eyes. There's just something about a clean space that makes you feel so much better about life, don't you agree?

Tidy. Orderly. Methodical. Neat as a pin. All things that don't describe me but things I occasionally get pleasure out of. I say occasionally because it will be back to shambles in exactly two days. Mark my words. And I'm totally ok with that.

I also organized and freshened up my cabinets and makeup drawer. I had no idea I was such a product hoarder. I had things tucked way in the back that had expired in 2008!! That's four years ago! Anywho, after all was said and done, this is my new and improved product cabinet:

What you are looking at there is

4 shine serums
5 leave-in conditioners
4 different kinds of hairspray
13 hair "products" aka smoothing cream, styling lotion, dry shampoo, etc.
6 shimmer body sprays/lotions
10 different kinds of face lotion
6 self tanners
and 1 bottle of cod liver oil vitamins.

E.
gads.

On to the makeup. Turns out I have an overabundance of that too.

And the saddest part? I wear maybe one quarter of one quarter of this stuff. Nonetheless, just like I can't get rid of any of my clothing because "what if" one day I am skinny enough to wear it, I also couldn't throw out any of my makeup because "what if" one day it is imperative that I wear five different kinds of foundation. At once. (Hey, some people do it. You know you've seen them.)

And since I already told you I only wear a small percentage of this chaos, I thought I would do you a great big favor and report in on my blog duty to share with you guys the absolutely best items that I do wear daily, that I think any self-respecting lady should never be without.

1. Benefit boi-ing under eye concealer. I wake up with dark circles every morning and this stuff covers it up like a picnic. No comments on my under eyes circles being caused by mass amounts of red wine. I prefer to live in ignorance on that topic, kapeesh?

2. The Naked palette. Obviously. (Did you know they just came out with a Naked 2 palette?)

3. Nars orgasm illuminator. Another obvious cult product. And for good reason. This stuff is amaze.

4. Two-faced sun bunny bronzer. I have tried every single bronzer under the sun and this comes out on top. Hi I'm Raven and I'm a bronzer-aholic.

5. e.l.f. mineral infused mascara. I used to be a die hard fan of Diorshow mascara, until Lindsey turned me on to this. I never thought I would convert to something else, but I am sold. People ask me constantly if I am wearing falsies. And for $20 less? I'll take it.

6. Makeup Forever HD foundation. Like bronzers, I have tried every foundation out there. Always looking for something better, something more even and flawless. After this find? I'm done looking. (And it goes on seamlessly and blends like a dream with this brush.)

7. And finally, Urban Decay Razor Sharp Ultra Definition Finishing Powder. The price is steep, but the results are a-ma-zing. Just read the description and reviews, and you'll be sold like me.

And that my dear friends, is the first installment of Before and After: My Casa:
The Master Bathroom.

Deep stuff here on this ol' blog, deep stuff.

ps. Just to keep my non-makeup obsessed, hair product non-whores interested, I have a slew of posts planned for the end of this week and next. Things like "how I never thought I would be a hippie-ish/liberal-ish mother" and my reasoning on why I have my children go by an alternative vaccine schedule. See ya on the ~~smart~~ ~~worthwhile~~ ~~non-vain~~ flip side.

Can a one year old ski?

2012-01-23T04:00:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday, my mom, hubs, two kids and I went up to a ski resort about an hour away so my boys could ski for the first time ever. Yes, I am a snowboarder, and my kids will board one day (soon), however I have been convinced that kids will learn best from starting on skis. My three year old and one year old (almost to be four and two) did, well...you'll see.

Aaaaaaaaaaand play.

ps. If you aren't from certain parts of the country, you may think that putting pre-preschool age kids on skis is bizarre. As Kristen wrote about in this post. And judging from the above video, she may be right haha!

pps. Even so, I plan to put both boys in lessons in just a couple weeks when we go on a big family ski trip. And yes, I will be sure to get it all on video.

Best of instragram

2012-01-22T10:02:00.000-08:00

This week...

1. morning bed head

2. it snowed at the Smith casa

3. box wine. wasn't as bad as I imagined.
(wasn't as good either)

4. I eat ~~too many of~~ these
5. back to my roots. dark hair it is.
6. SO not a sunset person, but I couldn't resist this

7. my boys in bed
8. finally, a legit reason to wear the wellies
9. finally, a legit reason for my kids to wear their silly zebra hats (it snowed, remember?)

10. I showed off my new tattoo
11. took the boys skiing for the first time. 1 year old wasn't quite a fan yet.
12. however, the 3 year old did amazing. post all about it coming up tomorrow!

Linking up with Jenni today!

A little truth about child rearing...winter edition.

2012-01-20T12:01:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, when I tweeted this...

some of you wrote back with the likes of "aww, that is so sweet! Isn't playing with your kids so much fun?" and "you are such a good momma. Aren't these times the best?" See, I think you may have misunderstood me. Yes, I was in tears. And it was very, very joyful. However, those tears were the result of my unbridled laughter at seeing my three year get whipped off the sled at high speed and skidding face first across the snow. But we'll save that for a little later in this story...

Let's start with...what is wrong with children? I mean, they like to stuff m&m's up their nose, they would rather, literally, eat dirt than vegetables, they can watch the same movie over and over and over and over and over all day long and oh yes, they actually enjoy playing out in the freezing cold snow. For hours. And the only problem with that? Momma has to go out and play with them. And it completely sucks. Let's review the process, shall we?

kids beg and beg to go out and play
finally, mom says yes
it takes approx. half an hour to get all their gear on, all the while they are bitching and complaining because they are "too hot" and "my pants are too tight" and "my glove keeps coming off" and "mooooommm!!! I have to pee."
Then you take them outside, and the wind is whipping snow in your face and you are freezing cold and you forgot to wear socks with your wellies so your toes are frozen and you have to take pictures of the whole thing to document which in turn results in your fingers practically falling off from frostbite.

But you always hear from mothers... "it was so worth it."

I'm here to tell you friends that those people lie.

And I can prove it.

Does this look like the face of a happy child?

Does this?

I'm telling you, there is nothing like a snow packed pacifier shoved in your mouth that screams this. is. so. much. fun. Oh wait, falling down and not being able to get back up because of the mountainous layers of clothing is right up there also.

Wait, he looks a tad happier here, doncha think?

(I can imagine what he is thinking... "I trusted you mom. You were supposed to take care of me and not put me through all this torture just so you can take pictures and put them on your blog. I am not a toy. You just wait though, I have plans to put you through hell during my pre-teen years. Sucker.")

Not all was lost, though. My three year old is just old enough to somewhat enjoy playing all day in the snow. With momma trailing along of course, hot chocolate in tow. Oh who are we kidding. It was mostly vodka in that cup.

You all know me too well.

We fed the horses...

aaaaannnd I guess the white stuff does make for a good backdrop for impromptu momma photoshoots...

And ok FINE. There were a few smiles during this little outing.

See?

And finally, what you have all been waiting for. The reason behind my tears of sweet, sweet joy. Hubs and I hooked the sled up behind the tractor, and took the boys for a ride. The little one didn't like it much, so he preferred to stay in the drivers seat with dad.

But Gunner? He was in winter wonderland heaven.

After a few tame rides around the neighborhood, I told hubs to "take that corner right there really fast and try to flip him off." As I have stated on this blog before, at the bottom of this post and this post, I feel my job as a momma is to prepare my kids for the real world. Hence my desire for hubs to throw my firstborn off the sled and get all that icy goodness glued to his face.

Hey, life isn't all roses and fun sled friends.

I wasn't sure he was going to do it, (he doesn't like causing grief to our kids and he definitely doesn't share my feelings in getting complete amusement out of our kids' misfortunes) but after me asking over and over again, he finally did it. Hubs whipped around that corner and it was like watching bowling in the snow.

It was magical, friends.

We circled back to retrieve our now shivering, baffled little angel baby, and I just could not help myself. His face of utter confusion and betrayal was priceless. And I lost it. Hot tears dripped down my face. And those were the tears I was talking about.

And the best part? He shouted "daddy you made me fall off! I'm mad at you!" And didn't speak to him for the rest of the night.

Now that was worth it.

Well I don't remember it that way...

2012-01-19T11:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, my twin sissies turned 29 years OLD. Schwizzles, I have sisters who are almost THIRTY YEARS OLD! That's middle age! I mean, in my mind, we are all still barely out of diapers and I'm throwing down on them like the boss I am because they stole my barbies head. Yet, here we are, so old and haggard and sporting lots of grey hairs. (You shut up Boobie, it's not only me).

Me:: Boobie:: Rachel

(incase you were wondering, this was taken on Halloween. We don't really dress like this in everyday life. However, wouldn't it be so flippin' cool if we did?!)

We celebrated their birthday with friends and family at PF Changs, a tradition if you will. We got on the topic of our younger years, and how it would always be two against one. Or rather, one of them and me against the other. Or rather, me and Boobie against Rachel. From their recollection, it got pretty brutal. (I mean, at lunch that day, Rachel told me that she was thisclose to moving out and going to live with our grandparents. Solely because of how I treated her. Say what?! That is not how I remember it). Anyway, our conversation went something like this...

me: was it really that bad for you guys?

Boobie and Rachel in unison: yes. even worse.

me: but I tbought I was such a good sister growing up?

Rachel: that's cause you only remember things you want to remember.

me: oh. well I'm sorry then. But really, didn't I at least treat you guys fairly when it came to being mean and terrorizing you?

Rachel: no. It was always you and Boobie against me. It was awful.

Boobie: hey, it's called survival of the fittest. Raven was so horrible that I didn't want to be on her receiving end of rath, so I joined the side of evil to save my own skin.

My mom: So basically you tortured your sisters and they now have a negative view of their childhood and even more so, you came between the bond between twin sisters...

me: Eff this! Give me your presents back you ungrateful little twits!

Anyway.

Speaking of twins, look at how adorable Rachels girls are looking these days...

and yes, we still love the one on the left despite those cheeks.

Coming up tomorrow on le blog: Why playing in the snow with your kids blows. Aka another edition of keepin' it real. And anyone who says otherwise?

They lie.

(ps. Head over to Taylors blog and see a pic of me getting one of my tattoos. I had no idea I even had a pic of me getting one done. It was a while ago and I had blonde hair. Fun times.)

I heart tattoos link-up!

2012-01-16T23:20:00.000-08:00

Here to link-up? Grab the code and link at the bottom of this post!

<center><a href="http://www.amommasdesiresandpacifiers.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="A Mommas Desires and Pacifiers" src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e379/raven123smith123/newstuff/tattoo2-1.jpg"/></a></center>

"Tattooing is about personalizing the body, making it a true home and fit temple for the spirit that dwells inside it."

Michelle Delio, Tattoo: The Exotic Art of Skin Decoration

You usually either love 'em or hate 'em. You would or you would never. This momma? Loves. I'll save you all the psychobabble on how people who have tattoos are "deep, intellectual free spirits who see meaning in the extra ordinary etc, etc." because I know a lot of idiots that have tattoos. But, they are personal (even if "personal" means that all the girls of Kappa Kappa Gamma get matching Tinkerbell tattoos) and they do make a statement.

Last Friday night I went and got my 8th tattoo done. (You can see my other 7 tattoos here.) My three year old wanted to come and see how they did it, so off we went. With his mohawk, toy motorcycle and oh yeah, stuffed zebra in tow. The zebra totally gives him an edge I decided.

Simmer down boy. It will be your turn next. Give it about 15 years.

He sat patiently waiting, until he wasn't so patient anymore and wanted a little closer look. And then he kept bumping into the table I was laying on while the tattoo artist was hard at work. Don't know about you, but I would prefer someone to not bump into the table and give it a nice little "jolt" while a needle is getting drug through my skin. Alas, everything turned out perfect.

It's my new favorite tattoo.

"due corpi una sola anima" = "two bodies, one soul" translated from Italian. For my Nonie. She was Italian and most definitely was my other half. Or rather, IS my other half. Like I said before, I am who I am because of her. We came from the same mold. And I know she was watching me as I got that tattoo, smiling and giving God a little nudge while saying, "see her? She's mine. She's carrying on my spirit down there." And yes Nonie, I most certainly am.

She always loved my hair dark. I dyed it back a few days ago. And this time I'm keeping it. Swear.

Ok, one more picture. Can you tell I love this one?

Yes, I do.

And looks like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. From an early age, Gunner has been totally into tattoos. And by tattoos, I mean little kid stick-ons comprised of Thomas the Train and Lightening McQueen.

Exhibit A: Picture taken circa 2010

(look closely and you can see that his friend the zeb is sporting a little ink himself)

Exhibit B: Picture taken circa 2012, aka yesterday

That's his best "badass face" to go with his sleeve tattoos. Boy after his momma's own heart right there.

And now, for a few of the most frequently asked questions that I get about this topic...

Does it hurt? And what area on your body hurts the most? Yes. But it's kind of like childbirth. (Although childbirth is fifty billion times more painful). It hurts while it's happening, but afterwards, you get such a good reward out of it that you forget how bad the pain was. So you just keep going back for more. As for the most sensitive body part, for me personally, it was my Raven tattoo, on my lower right hip. The skin there is thinner and it was just flat painful.

Are they addicting? Do you want more? Yes and yes. Ask anyone. Once you get the taste of one, you want to go back for more. I still have a few others in mind that I will be getting in the future.

Does your husband like tattoos? No. He has never liked tattoos on women. However when I met him I had five already, so he must not dislike them that much, right?

What does your family think about them? Aka your mom, dad, sisters, immediate fam. Well, my mom gave herself a tattoo in Home Ec class when she was a freshman in high school. And when I got my first ever tattoo, my dad took me aside and whispered in my ear, "just between me and you, I really like it." My sisters both have one. So I would think it safe to assume that they approve. Besides, we come from a very non-judgement family.

What would you do if your sons came to you and wanted a tattoo? Considering they were 18 years old, I would take them and pay for their first one.

Yes, tattoos. A matter of taste and personal preference. I, for one, am a believer. You? Have one? Undecided? Thinking about getting one? Link up below and show us what you have/what you are thinking of getting some day!

Peace, love and ink!

A few things...and info for the tattoo link-up!

2012-01-16T11:30:00.000-08:00

Remember that bathing suite I wrote about in this post? A few of you wanted to know where I got it -- you can get it here. Also, the model wearing the swimsuite? She is about 100 pounds lighter than me and the bikini bottoms still look teensy on her.

There is no hope for me...

Almost but not quite, right? F*#k it.
(p.s. The actual name of the bikini bottoms is "Lace Trim Scrunch Butt." If for no other reason, you must purchase these for that fact alone.)

********************

I know it's been going around the interwebs lately, but my heart just breaks so much for this mother who just lost her boy to a rare disease. You can read more about it here. I know for me, as a mother of two little boys, I do not know what I would do if they were hurting every day from something that was completely out of my control. The good thing is, this mother has a strong faith and that alone is what I believe is helping her get through this. I know she will definitely be added to my prayer list.

********************

And on that note, just a few pictures from my iphone this week...

(Why yes I did put my one year olds long luscious locks in pigtails. Got a problem with that?!)

and a video...

********************

And finally, get your posts ready for tomorrows "I heart tattoos" link-up! Show us what you have or what you are thinking of getting in the future. I love seeing all the creative ways others permanently ravage* their bodies.

Make sure to grab this code and paste on your blog post!

See you tomorrow sexies! I will be back revealing my new mystery tattoo that I got just for this special blog link-up occasion. (Just kidding. I had been wanting to get this one for a while, and the link-up gave me perfect incentive.)

*beautify

Peace out cohorts.

When the truth is hilarious

2012-01-14T10:29:00.000-08:00

I try not to be too political or controversial here on this blog (*ahem* yeah right -- this post, this post and this post struck a nerve with some of you) but when I came upon this here little parody, I couldn't not share.

Freakin' hilarious.

"If you can't laugh at yourself, life's gonna seem a whole lot longer than you'd like."

quote from the movie, Garden State.

The accent vlog

2012-01-12T21:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, I did it. Jumped on the ol' train and am doing the accent vlog.

Love you, peace, harmony and red wine, amen.

The instructions are to say these words:
Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

And answer these questions:
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the TV channel?

A few announcements

2012-01-11T22:38:00.000-08:00

I am now on instagram! I have NO idea how to really use it, I have only uploaded a total of four photos and I still don't know how to respond to notifications (can you respond?), nor do I really even know how to see if someone has commented (do people "comment" on instagram?) but still, I'm signed up. My handle (is that the right word?) is ravenasmith. Find me? And how do I find you?

Second, I going back to black. As in my hurr. (See this post and this post for reference.) Surprised? Probably not. I'll post a pic soon.

Third, I am thinking about doing the accent vlog. Would any of ya'll be interested in that? I know for me, whenever I watch others accent vlogs, I am screaming at the computer like, "say what? Oh no girlfrand, it is called POP! Pop, honey, not soda. And definitely not coke. Coke is a certain kind of pop. Get it?" Drives me bananas.

And lastly, so many of you responded positively to the tattoo linkup so it is set for next Tuesday, January 17th! So get your pictures taken and the post ready! I want to see what all ya'll have inked and/or what you have planned in the future to desecrate your body!

Here is the official button for the linkup. I will post an image code Monday night so you can grab it and post it to your page. So excited my fellow badasses!

I know I'm ready...

(picture taken last night)

are you?

Bachelor recap #2

2012-01-09T23:46:00.000-08:00

It's that time again! Week two recap of the Bachelor with my fave ever, Benny Ben Ben. (If you missed my first recap, you can read it here.)

Looking ~~horrible~~ handsome as always.

So we start the episode off with the ~~hookers~~ girls going to Ben's hometown of Sonoma, CA. We see him walking his dog. Why does he look so awkward walking the dog? A prop maybe? The ~~sluts~~ girls cheers with their wine in the car on the way to meet Ben. Wait, you can drink and ride in Sonoma? Sign me up!

Kasey B. gets the very first one-on-one date. The other girls look at her with daggers in their eyes. Kasey declares "I'm the luckiest girl alive right now." Say what? No bitch, I am. I'm sittin' in my cozy bed blogging about your shit while drinking a glass of wine. And I don't have to share my man with 17 other ~~whores~~ girls. You may want to reevaluate what "lucky" means to you.

Oh sad. Courtney the MODEL is bummed that Kasey B. got the first date. Calls her "annoying." Um...I'm pretty sure that your jank upper lip is the definition of annoying. Skank.

Kasey B. and Ben are walking down the streets of Sonoma. Kasey decides it would be a major sex appeal move to bust out her baton moves. I think the only reason it worked is because Ben starts thinking naughty thoughts about said baton.

Moving on.

Why can't I get over the fact that Ben SUCKS? No charm, no wit, no personality, SO NOT INTERESTING. A dud! Why the hell did ABC pick him again to be the bachelor?!

Anyway. First date went well. They both got to see their dads on film, Ben cried, awkward silence. After the date, Kasey is quoted on camera as saying "I think I have found what could be a lifetime of love with Ben." Yeah, after he makes out and kisses and strips naked with 17 other girls.

Then it's the group date. Oh no, the redhead is wearing a red shirt. Does she not KNOW the rules of being a ginger? And is Blakely wearing a denim onsie? (If so, anyone know where I can get it?)

Out come the playrights. Little kids. They start demanding that the ~~tramps~~ bachelorettes act out certain things. Act like a weasel? Oh shit, she actually did it! Snort like a pig? Do the robot? Be a hippie? A gingerbread man?? How the hell do you be a gingerbread man?

The little kids are staring at Blakely like, is she really wearing a onsie?

God I can't stand Ben. Why am I still watching this? TLC's Extreme Cheapskates is on right now. Maybe I should switch over. But then, Ben and all the ~~hussies~~ girls dress up in crazy animal costumes.

I honestly think that Ben has a secret fetish of doing the deed with others dressed as animals. What are they called again, furries? Yeah, Ben is totally a furry fan.

Then it's time for all these crazies to act on stage in front of Ben friends and family. Umm, Ben's acting?

Well gee, if I wasn't turned off before...

What the hell happened to crazy jenna? All of a sudden, Blakely is turning into the psycho one. Someone calls her a cougar, HA! Wait, she's only 3 years older then me. Bitch!

And what's with these ~~streetwalkers~~ bachelorettes? They all have uber flat hair. Has no one ever been introduced to the poof? They need to hand out free bump-its to these chicks.

Uh oh, Samantha is hiding in the bathroom.

My favorite part is when the girls claim they "hate the drama." HA! Yeah, and that is exactly why you signed up for the Bachelor.

Whoa. Bikini time on the group date. Holy boobs.

Egads! The redhead is making out with Ben?! Didn't see that one coming.

And seriously, Blakely looks like she could be Bens mom.

Group date ends ~~horrible~~ well with all the girls having a peaceful slumber party and singing kumbaya in unison. Yeah, and then I gave up drinking red wine. Likely story.

Second one-on-one date. Courtney THE MODEL gets picked.

Side note: Courtney THE MODEL walks weird. I don't like it.

Ben brings his dog along on this date. And now the dog and Ben are conversing. And then Ben says that his dog has taught him that he does want children someday. Do you think Ben knows that children are like, a whole different story than dogs?

Courtney THE MODEL is getting her daggers in. Must be because she is A MODEL. She doesn't fool me though, SHE IS TOTALLY ACTING. But of course he gives her the rose. He wants to bed her. And she's A MODEL.

Side note: kissing noises make me want to gag.

The cocktail party. Thank God, this means we are getting closer to the end of this crapshow.

Damn, horseback girl has a slammin' body.

Ha! Jenna the blogger drops the blanket on the candle, and then she tells Ben, "I feel like I'm a guy." And then continues to ramble on and on and make NO sense at all. And then cue the cards, crazy Jenna is back, crying in the corner.

Hahaha! Ben has to go rescue crying Blakely in the corner of the luggage room, and then he goes to get Jenna in the bed, hiding under the covers. He got some winners this season, that's for sure.

And finally, the rose ceremony. Where all the ~~broads~~ girls stand in a huddle and stare at Ben with gleaming eyes begging him to "pick me! pick me!" OH! And look! There's even a smoke machine blowing in the background! Ambience!

Poor Jenna the crazy blogger and Shawn the single mom don't receive a rose.

Boo hoo.

And then all the producers scramble to hide any sharp objects because we definitely don't want a suicide attempt from the rejected.

And that concludes my recap on episode two of the The ~~Loser~~ Bachelor.

See you next Tuesday for more of this fun.

(Want to read more Bachelor recaps or link-up your own? Go HERE!)

Both ends, baby, both ends

2012-01-09T11:56:00.000-08:00

This has totally been me lately.

One major point of contention? I will be here in less than two months...

and I have to lose a massive amount of weight if I want to be sporting this little number...

because right now?

yeah, right now it ain't workin'. So any ideas or tips on how to lose a lot of weight in a short period of time is greatly welcomed. I have a pretty open mind, so it doesn't have to be healthy. Or even legal.

Finally, all your comments on my tattoo post last week totally have me inspired and curious. (If you asked me a question on that post, I will be answering today!) Bethany suggested I host a tattoo link-up, where everyone can show off their own tattoos and/or what they would like to get if they decided to get one. Would ya'll be interested in participating in that? I think it could be pretty successful and draw lots of new readers to our blogs, so you in?

And, since I already showed you guys all my tattoos, I might go get a new one just for the link-up.

PS. Bachelor recap number two coming up tomorrow. You can read the first one here.

Best Bitches

2012-01-06T11:29:00.001-08:00

Remember this post? About the best friend I never knew I was missing?

Yeah, we be soul sisters.

(this will be us come SOON!)

Miss Lindsey. We talk a lot. Every day. She knows more about me than most people. I share my secrets with her. (And if you ever dare tell, Les, I will hurt you in the most horrible way you can imagine. I will cut off all your hair when you are sleeping.) I am SO glad I got into blogging because honestly, she is my bestie. Like, my bestest bestie.

Remember how my birthday was last month? She did not disappoint. Look at the fabulousness she sent my way...

She knows me. Glitter top? Mini flat iron? V.S. fashion show bra? Check! Love.

However, my most favorite thing that she sent? These little photo books that she got in the Target dollar section. They were for my boys, and they loved them.

Is that not the cutest thing ever? She cut out their faces and put them in the books, so each different page was my boys being something, i.e. a christmas tree, a snowman, a reindeer. It was the thought and the time and the personal-ness of it that I loved. Trust me when I say that my boys are just as excited to meet Auntie Lindsey as I am! (My hubs? He's the most excited of all, but that's a story for another day).

So when it was time to exchange Christmas gifts, I knew exactly what I wanted to get her once I spotted it on Pinterest. It. was. us. To a mothereffing T. Since I couldn't convince her to do this with me:

I figured the next best thing would be for us to have these:

That's right. Best bitches fo life.

I'm never taking mine off. And Les, if I spot a pic where you aren't wearing yours? Hair = cut off.

And guess what. We are meeting, like for real. In just a few months. She is coming to see me in March. And then? She is coming back in July, where she will be a part of this little river debacle:

(insert Lindsey here)

So yes, best bitches it is.

Love ya Les, and thanks for being my bestie!

So, who's your best bitch?

Tattoos

2012-01-05T11:37:00.000-08:00

I love tattoos. Love. I know they can be extremely trendy at times and seeing someone resembling Elle Woods from Legally Blonde sporting a butterfly tattoo on her ankle might make you chuckle, they are still an expression of self and personality. Even if that expression is a butterfly ankle tattoo.

A few of you have asked me at times how many and where my tattoos are. I have seven so far and yes, I want more. The first one I ever got was when I was 17. I was actually sitting at a restaurant with my parents, telling them about my desire for a tattoo, when they said, and I quote: "Raven, we will pay for your first tattoo if you wait until you are 18." I was five months shy of turning 18 so I'm sure you can assume what I did.

I took my fake I.D. and drove 3.5 hours to the best tattoo shop around.

And I got a daisy on my lower back. You read that right, a daisy. Elle Woods, say what? See, I was a tad boy crazy back in the day, and I swore the motto of my life at that time was "he loves me, he loves me not." My plan was to get that quote tattooed in cursive around the daisy. Here is what my first tattoo looks like today:

As you can see, I never got around to getting that quote. Just the daisy hurt like a bitch that I made him stop halfway through and never returned for the words.

But I was only 17, and I have grown and matured since then and am not as big a pussy. As my second tattoo can prove, clearly.

Well I'll be damned. A butterfly tattoo on my foot. I tried to bad-ass it up by throwing in a dragonfly (oh my!) but I think I just upped the Elle Woods factor. Oh well, at least they're...cute?

Ahem. Moving on. I have two wrist tattoos. First is a chinese symbol on my left, which I swear I got way before they became popular and trendy. We're talking 10+ years ago, friends. It means "strength and courage."

And yes, it does actually mean that. I'm sure you've heard of people who get chinese symbols that supposedly mean "family or trust or truth, etc", but in all reality what it really means is "dog excretion" or something along those lines.

The other wrist?

Probably the one I get complimented on the most. Especially at drive-thrus. Ha.

Perhaps the most authentic and personal? The Raven on my lower hip.

And if you dare call it a crow, I'll come after you.

Next is a cross on my back, which I plan to elaborate on and add to someday. Soon.

And after great debate, I decided to just keep it real here and show you the ass tattoo. My husband's name.

Left cheek.

Bam.

And that's it. For now. I have plans for a few more, definitely something incorporating my kids. Most likely something to cover-up that horrendous daisy. The butterfly can stay.

I have a few ideas of what I want, and most I got from pinterest. (You can see my tattoo board here.) I know I want something music related. Remember this post? Music plays in my soul. These are a few I found that caught my interest...

Something else I am loving? The feather tattoos. However, they are so trendy that I doubt I would go that route. They do look cool though...

As for placement? Definitely getting one here...

and/or here...

Love this...

and this...

And if I could? I would totally get a sleeve tattoo. I would. However, hubs would probably disown me. Then again, I did tattoo his name on my ass. That has to give me some sort of leverage, right?

What are you thoughts? Do you like tattoos? Hate them? Think they are sexy? Cool? Trashy? Have any? If you do, let me know. And if you decided to post yours also, be sure to leave me the link.

P.S. I am also guest posting today over at Kristen's blog. There may or may not be a picture of me in a speedo bathing suite...

My thoughts on The Bachelor

2012-01-03T16:52:00.000-08:00

So I promise, I so wasn't going to do a Bachelor recap post on this page, don't want to taint le ol' blog or anything, but after tuning in last night, I couldn't not write about the massive insanity and just plain stupidity of those.....girls.

And I wasn't even going to watch this season either. I say that every. time. and then I always end up giving in and wasting two precious hours of my life once a week. I mean, my time could much be better spent on re-runs of Teen Mom 2. However, as I was laying in bed last night my hand just couldn't resist the magnetic pull of the tv remote, whispering "change me to the Bachelor, you know you want to. Do it, it will make you feel so much better about your own life."

I digress.

So let's start this recap off with the man himself.

What, you thought I was talking about Bachelor Ben? Naw, I'm talking about the mastermind behind this whole debacle, Mr. Chris Harrison. And yes, I know I misspelled his name in the picture above. I noticed it right before I went to upload the pic and decided to keep it as-is. Because really, it kind of suits him. Who else could keep their composure time and time and time and time again while reciting, "ladies, this is the final rose of the night."

How he keeps from busting out laughing is beyond me. He must get a lifetime supply of xanax as a perk to his hosting job. Also, how else could he have kept so calm when that little peach Rozlyn accused him of hitting on another man's wife?

Remember that? Classic reality tv, right there.

Ok, now on to the ~~lemon~~ bachelor this season.

Honestly, I don't have much to say about him. Talk about a total dooze! Did anyone else notice how totally uncomfortable he was with those ~~whores~~ girls? He had nothing interesting to say, he had no idea how to recoup from those awkward silent moments, he definitely missed the charming bus and I hate his nose. But we all know that Bachelor Ben isn't the real reason we tune in every Monday, it's those silly alcoholic loco's they call "bachelorettes."

So let's delve into that, shall we?

And who better to start off with than Jenna, the blogger.

Yes, a blogger. She's just like us! Although, she isn't. Girlfrand has some mental issues. I mean, crying in the bathroom is pretty standard Bachelor behavior, as is getting shitfaced drunk on the first night, but asking another girl if she wants to share a tampon? Besides giving the rest of us bloggers a bad name, it also ensures that she will be around for a few more weeks.

Oh goody.

Let's move on to Courtney, THE MODEL.

Did I mention she's a model? Because if I forget to, she will definitely let you know. But that isn't why I disdain her so much. See, she is one of those girls that thinks that other girls dislike her because she is "so pretty." And I will never forget something I heard on Tyra Banks TV show one time. She said that "other girls do not dislike you because you are beautiful. That is such a pathetic excuse that girls give for acting like a bitch. They dislike you because of the attitude you portray, and your 'I am better than thou' demeanor. Take Heidi Klum for example. She is one of the most gorgeous women in the world, but also one of the nicest people I have ever met, and I have yet to come across one person who dislikes Heidi Klum."

Take that Courtney. Not to mention that her mother was quoted as saying she isn't sure if Ben is good looking enough for her daughter, how Courtney said herself that she "deserves a 2 carat diamond" and oh yeah, the little fact that she dated that dweeb Jesse Metcalf. I wish to see her go, but... (more on this later).

Ah, Lyndsie J.

The British girl who actually made fun of her own "butt-chin" on the first episode. Shouldn't have done that, maybe then you wouldn't have gotten the ax on the first night. Then again, your completely obnoxious voice and mile-a-minute mumbo jumbo would have sent you packing anyway. Not to mention that horrible accent of yours. Eek.

Oh heeeeeeeeey Holly!

Is it just me or does this Holly totally resemble Hugh Hefner's ex, Holly Madison? I mean, a much, much more uncomely version, but a version still. Basically, her stupid hat schtick kinda worked for her, until she took it off. But I get it, in a room full of this many crazies, you have to do something to stand out.

Meet Monica.

I mean, is she or isn't she? Why is she trying to sleep with Blakely? Why did she feel the need to terrorize Jenna and why oh WHY did she wear her hair like that for the first Rose Ceremony?!

Whatevs. Girl on girl action is so the norm these days that faking it to get extra screen time is just mindless.

Hi Ginge, I mean Jenn.

They always have to throw a redhead into the mix. Even though we all know that the redhead never gets the guy in the end. (except you Beth, you could totally land him.)

"The Baconator"

Sorry, but I had to. And if it offends you? Well, I'm offended by her nose. No wonder she was sent packing on day one. (Don't evil eye me, you know you were thinking the same thing. I just happened to say it out loud.)

And now, for a couple girls I sorta kinda like. (And by sorta kinda, I mean that I don't think they belong in a psych ward.)

Lindzi C.

I like her, I guess. I mean, she seems pretty normal so far. She also resides from my home state, so there's that. She's pretty. She seems nice. She seems not crazy. Why did they cast her again??

Kacie B.

Not sure why this southern bell got cast either. But I like her. Which probably means she won't be around long.

Now for a few spoilers. If you don't want to know what happens this season, stop reading now. Of course, I got all my information from the ever so reliable RealitySteve.com.

The two girls who supposedly make it to the end? Lindzi C. and Courtney, THE MODEL.

That "mystery girl" that comes back for a chance at love with Ben? Word is that it's Shawntell Newton, the mortician who was on Brad's season. She doesn't get a rose to stick around.

One of the contestants ends up developing feelings for one of the producers and eventually ends up asking to leave the show.

Someone else that leaves the show voluntarily? Brittney, the girl who brought her grandma along on the first episode.

The girl who wins Ben's heart in the end and is still engaged to him today? Courtney, THE MODEL. Which isn't that big a surprise. I mean, Patti from Bravo's Millionaire Matchmaker said it best:
"Men choose with their pickers."

And amen.

I think I'm still hungover from Saturday

2012-01-02T11:30:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I send my 3 year old to timeout and then forget where he is. I walk around yelling his name and just get madder and madder because he isn't responding and then I start to get a little worried like, "shit, did he go outside when I wasn't looking and is he playing out in the road?!" And then after like five minutes of frenzy chaos I suddenly remember that I had put him in timeout earlier. Where he is instructed to sit and not make a peep. Not sure what this says about my mothering...

Maybe I just need a vacation.

Speaking of vacations, my whole gobble of family is getting together for a ski trip next month. I. Can't. Wait. It will be the first time Gunner goes snowboarding and I'm already laughing out load and what I can only imagine will take place. Don't worry, I'll get it all recorded so I can post it here on this blog so you guys can laugh incessantly at my child's expense.

And I totally think I need this helmet:

Oh yes.

+++++++++++++++

I went to the doctor the other day to talk about getting my baby maker permanently disabled. I was pretty sure I wanted to schedule the appt asap but then the doc started asking me, "now, are you sure you want to do this now? This procedure is irreversible, and you are still young." Totally made me question myself like, what if I do want another baby in five years? I've always wanted a little girl named Remington (since I have a Gunner and Colt, get it?) but then I thought to myself, why go through the torture they call childbirth and just make it work with what I've already got.

It's called outsourcing, people.

++++++++++++++++

Finally, I went to Taco Bell the other day and since I'm a vegetarian now, I skipped my usual three hard shell beef tacos and went for the cheesy bean burrito. With a side of mexi-fries and melted cheese for dipping.

I feel so much healthier already.

Yep, I'm never drinking again

2012-01-01T11:32:00.000-08:00

I can't talk long.

My head is spinning and it hurts. Everything hurts.

This was my New Years Eve...

(photo removed by request due to a horrible picture of everyone)

And that's all I can muster up. However, I would love to direct you HERE, because it is exactly how I am feeling at this moment.

Goodbye.

New Year.

2011-12-29T21:44:00.000-08:00

Let's get this started right with a favorite song of mine. It's called "Get It Right" and it's about just that: finally getting it right.

Get It Right by Brendan James on Grooveshark

I've never been a big New Years resolution person. Does anyone ever stick to those things anyway? But I am big on always changing for the better, always growing, always learning from our mistakes and always finding ways to just...well, finally get it right. And even though I presume the only way to achieve the latter is ultimately the moment we take our last breath, I will still work on a better me so that when my final day does come, I can leave this Earth and my loved ones in peace.

(Whoa there Raven, what's with all this seriousness? Don't worry, I'll return to my usual snarky self next year. Heehee.)

So the following are things I plan to work on and nurture this coming year...

and hopefully for the rest of the years of my life.

1. Be nicer to my husband

Believe it or not, but I can be a royal b-word far too often. Not a pretty trait. I'm lucky and blessed in so many ways; to have a hardworking man who values his family above all else and who provides for us so I can stay home and raise my kids. Someone who finally gives in to doing a vlog with me and who brings me mimosas in bed for my birthday. Yes, I need to be nicer.

And speaking of mimosas...

2. Drink less

Oh yes I just did! I have come to realize that I can't party like I used to. One wild night and I'm out of commission for the next few days. Which doesn't work out so well when you have two boys under 4 who need me to fix their Thomas the Train right. now. Among fifty billion other things they need me to do, also right. now. Don't get me wrong, I'll still throw down a few (see here) but those times will be farther and fewer between. Which means I'll just have to make them extra good.

3. Cook more and try really really hard to be a full-fledged vegetarian

I talked about this topic is more depth here, but living a vegetarian lifestyle is something that I really strive to do. Or rather, it's something that I have really been planning to strive to do. I had a small stint where I did go completely veg for a few months and I have never felt so good nor looked as good as I did during that period. And guys, there are so many good vegetarian recipes I have found on pinterest (check out my yum board.) My hubs is a meat and potatoes guy and he has yet to complain about any of the vegetarian dishes I have made.

For example:

a homemade veggie pizza with gobs of goat cheese piled on top. I. die.

This also goes for no more fast food in the new year! I will be honest and tell you that I take my kids through the drive-thru more often than I am willing to admit. It is so not healthy and not a good habit to get into. Sorry McDonald's, you won't be getting any more of this momma's moolah. (Starbucks, we're still good.)

4. Get out and do more things with my boys

Even if it's cold, even if it's windy, even if it's too hot out and even if Teen Mom 2 is on right now. They are little boys and they need to get their energy out. Not to mention a little exercise could do my hefty bum some good.

5. Exercise

I wish I could say exercise more but that would mean I am already doing something to bust my ass and sadly, I am not. I used to work out regularly and then after baby #2 came, I've been slacking. Big time. I don't even have to go to a gym, I have all the exercise equipment in my house so I really have no excuse. Watch out, a leaner, meaner Raven is coming to a blog near you.

6. Be a better blogger

And by that I mean be a better blogger to you. Often I go to sleep with guilt thinking, "crap, I forgot to email so and so back" or "I never answered her question she asked in my post", etc. And it isn't because I don't think you are important, because trust me, I do. I love this little space I have on the internet and it wouldn't mean as much to me if I didn't have all you guys, and the input you give me and the comments you take the time to write, and I am going to be much better at returning the gesture. I know you guys all have busy lives just like I do and I appreciate so much that you take the time to come here and read what I have to say. So starting today, I will leave no question unanswered and you will be seeing my face around your neck of the woods much more often.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

7. Read this book

8. Take better care of my clothes

This may sound like a silly one but if there is one thing I really splurge on, it's clothes. And they do not deserve to be all crumpled on my floor, getting all walked over. So clothes, I promise to take better care of you this year and to keep you hung up on hangers, the nice ones with the felt so you don't slip off and/or stretch. And in return, I would really appreciate it if you could make me look like a Victoria's Secret model when I put you on mah body. Sound like a deal? No? Oh well. I tried.

9. Spend more time with friends

As I have gotten older, I realize quality of friendship is much more important than quanity. And I find that catching up with old friends who knew me "back when" is where I seem to find the most comfort. Not that there is anything wrong with making new friends (cough Leslie cough) but holding on to my old ones has become more of a priority.

10. Continue to love these two more and more every day

They are my heart.

11. Send out a damn Christmas card next year!

(bloggy friends, do you see yours?)

I love receiving Christmas cards and have done some in the past, but the past few years I waited too long. And I want all ya'll to have my Christmas card hanging up in your house! So just go ahead and send me your address for next year. ;)

12. Enjoy the small moments

For it's the small moments that we will remember the most.

Happy New Year friends.

See ya on the flip side.

Christmas morning

2011-12-27T11:38:00.000-08:00

in pictures:

Bad Santa!

2011-12-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

I still have lots to talk about concerning my birthday weekend, but I'm saving that for after the Christmas hubub dies down a little. So considering that Santa is going to be coming down the chimney in just a few days, I figured it fitting to tell ya'll about my darling experience I had with the Man himself.

After Sabrina and I downed a few mid-morning cocktails at the 'ol mall mexican restaurant, I said in a very matter-of-factly tone, "we are going to sit on Santa's lap."

If only I knew that would be the demise of my already crumbling old maid self-esteem.

The following is what transpired:

Santa: Ho! Ho! Ho! Come sit down.

Me: {excited smile}

Santa: {snickers} What are you big girls coming to see Santa for today, besides to humiliate your daughter? {more snickers}

Me: Hahaha.....wait, what?

Picture people: Look into the camera and smile big!

Me: Wait, what did you just say?

Santa: I figured you wanted to embarrass your daughter by having a photo together.

Picture people: Right here! Look here and smile big!

Me: {utterly confused as to what is going on} Wait, you think I'm her mother?!?

Santa: uummm......noooo, are you two sisters?

Me: You really thought I was her mother?!?!?!?

Santa: {silence}

Picture people: Ok, one more time! Say cheese!

Me: Oh. my. gosh. You really thought I was her MOTHER. I'm going to go kill myself now.

Santa: No, don't do that. You're too pretty to kill yourself.

Nice try buddy, but the damage is already done.

****************************

I don't deserve to be on this Earth.

You motherf#%&ing Santa.

On the 10th Day of Christmas {Giveaway} CLOSED

2011-12-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

First things first: random.org tells us that Cait, you are the lucky winner of Rissy's amazing bag giveaway! Email Rissy at CASeligman@gmail.com to claim your prize!

And now friends, it's this momma's turn to give something away.

What do I have all wrapped up? Oh, just a few things to make every girl shimmer and sparkle just a little bit more this holiday season.

First up: some amazing makeup from one of my favorite brands, modelco. I can attest that I use this stuff religiously. And every time I do, I always get complimented on my "gorgeous skin." (And trust me, the makeup is what gives people the illusion I have gorgeous skin. Just ask Sabrina. She has seen me au naturel -- it ain't pretty. Swear.)

Guys, I got this stuff for a steal. The shimmer stick alone retails for $34.00 and is sold out at a lot of online stores. And the highlighting serum? One reviewer said it best:

There are a lot of illuminating products out there and many of them give your face that sparkly Halloween look, but not this one, it looks natural. I usually use it on my cheekbones and under my eyes and it lights up my face, like there is literally a light on it. Your face looks refreshed, you look younger. Every time I use this product I get comments like, "your makeup looks good" or "your skin looks really good." More people need to know about this product. You will be hooked.

Trust me girls, I swear by this.

Next is a set of makeup brushes. I don't know about you, but I go for months (cough cough) without washing my brushes. A new set would suite me just fine. You?

Five new brushes (including the awesome kabuki brush) and two red quilted cases.

And finally. I debated quite heavily whether I wanted to give this next item away or keep it for myself. Because I have FALLEN IN LOVE. But, it's Christmas and 'tis better to give than to receive, so, very begrudgingly, I give to you on this 10th day of Blogger Christmas Giveaway...

The Fusion Beauty Goddess set, just in time for New Years Eve perhaps? The virtual spray finishing powder comes in a perfume-type bottle, which really was the whole selling point for me. Spray that liquid gold on mah face and body? Um, yes please! And another favorite product of mine is the LipFusion gloss, which honestly plumps up my lips and gives them the most gorgeous sparkly shimmer. And finally, SculptDiva contouring and scultpting blush.

Basically, I die for this goddess set.

If you win and want to let me just keep it, I won't despise you for it.

(ps. The modelco makeup comes in the cutest little black bow clutch)

Giveaway open to US and Canadian bloggers only. You have exactly 24 hours to enter before this giveaway closes at Midnight PST on 12/23/11. Here is what you need to do to enter this giveaway:

1. Must be a GFC follower of A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers and tell me you do in a comment!

[[ for extra entries ]]

2. follow me on twitter {+1 entry}
3. follow my cuz Taylor's blog. It's my Christmas present to her heehee {+1 entry}

Please make sure to leave a separate comment for each entry!
That's three chances to win!

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

The winner will be announced on Sabrina's blog tomorrow.

A few things...

2011-12-21T11:19:00.000-08:00

I know my posting has been lacking on this here lil' blog lately. Things have just been so busy and fast paced these past few days that as much as I have wanted to, sitting down at the computer to punch out a substantial post has been pushed to the wayside.

However, a few things:

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU all SO much for my birthday wishes! I got so many amazing comments here, on facebook and tweets on twitter from ya'll that it made me feel extra special on my big day. So again, thank you so much. I am SO glad I joined the blogging community when I did. (Speaking of, what do people do who don't blog? My life seemed so...empty before. Heehee. I kid, but it certainly has added to it tremendously.)

I have a slew of posts scheduled for next week all about my amazing birthday weekend and of course, having my first ever blate with my now IRL friend Sabrina.

We totally clicked, and it was awesome.

Not to mention that my kids are totally in love with her.

Also, make sure to go over to Rissy's blog today and see what she is giving away for the 12 Days of Blogger Christmas! Here's a hint...

Let's just say that I WANT!

ALSO make sure to come back here tomorrow as it's my turn for the giveaway!

I think you'll likie.

The Birth Story

2011-12-20T00:57:00.000-08:00

You know how birth stories are all sweet and sentimental? The expectant mother arrives at the hospital in her own custom made delivery gown, the soft sounds of Enya echo in the background, she sips on hot tea and engages herself in prenatal yoga every time a contraction occurs, and finally, with the help of no pain relieving drugs, her precious little baby slips into the world as the mother screams out in agony, "I am woman, hear me ROAR!"

Uh, yeah.
So mine was kind of like that.

Except it went a little something like this...

Read the rest HERE...

also, be sure to visit Stephanie's blog today for the 12 Days of Blogger Christmas Giveaway!

It was love at first blate!

2011-12-19T13:24:00.000-08:00

Popping in super quick, can't stay long because the amazing Sabrina and I have plans which consist of mexi food, tequila, shopping, and then drinks for martini Monday.

It was love at first sight.

Also, make sure to head over to Katie's blog to enter her giveaway for the 12 Days of Blogger Christmas!

5th Day of Blogger Christmas Giveaway!

2011-12-17T11:13:00.000-08:00

Here's a hint of what the gorgeous Erica is giving away today...

No, it's not the camera. Shucks, I know.

But it is something wickedly cool. (Like that Erica? *wink*)
So go HERE and enter now!

Speaking of wickedly cool, Fedex showed up bright and early at my casa yesterday with a package from Erica for my birthday. Yes, my birthday isn't until tomorrow, but I was dying to open it and see what was inside. So I asked Erica if I could open it early and she said yes!

Guys, I LOVE gifts where I know lots of thought was put into it, and Erica did not dissapoint!

That would be an awesome tee from Erica's hometown in my fave color ever (and it is officially my new favorite shirt), and a "month of December" birthday wine glass. She also got me pink polish and a leopard print wine glass woozie.

Talk about a girl after my own heart.

Erica I love it ALL and thank you SO much!

And in less important news, guess who just got engaged?!?!?!

Mah homeslice Miss Spears! Or should we now call her Mrs. Jason Trawick?

Congrats Brit Brit!

Now I just have to find something to wear to the wedding!

Happy freaking birthday

2011-12-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

'Tis true, friends. On Sunday, I will be the dreaded 3-1. I know, I know, ya'll thought I was in my early twenties? I get that a lot. I'm so fearful of aging that I married a man 15 years older than me just so he would never leave me for a younger woman.

Moving on.

THIRTY ONE. I can hardly say it without grimacing. I may sound annoying and ungrateful, but we keep it real here on this blog, and I do NOT want to be thirty one. If I had it my way, I'd stay 27ish forever. I mean, let's talk blogging here. How much longer do I have to be a relevant blogger? In a few years, my kids will be older and not in that "oohhh, they are so cuuuuute" stage. And considering I have an appointment scheduled to get my babymaker disabled, I will never have another baby bump to show off nor another birth story to share. (And Lord knows blogger people go crazy for that shit). Not to mention that a whole new crop of 20somethings will begin blogging soon and they will likely just push my old battle-ax ass right off the blogging grid.

I think about these things people.

So as we get older, we have to base our self-worth on more than just a tight body and seeing how many guys you can get to buy you free drinks. (My personal best was 11. Holla! There may have been more but I don't remember, obviously).

There was a time when I based my self-worth on how many "happy birthday" facebook notifications I got.

Now I just base it off how many people wish me a happy birthday on my blog.

However if you want, you can still wish me a happy birthday on facebook.

Or twitter.

Only if you want to.

You do want to though, right?

Ahem.

Back to what I was saying. I could tell you that my life has been blessed beyond belief, that I have a wonderful family and friends and the two best little boys a mom could ask for. That I would embrace every single deep wrinkle on my face if it came from smiling at my boys every day. That I look forward to being a grandma one day.

I could tell you all those things, but then you might think I'm a softie and/or sensitive and we just can't have that happening at all up in here.

So. This weekend I will party hard (when my boys are at granny's house) and party soft, with sippy cups and oreos and nestled between two little angels while watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas." For the 100th time.

I don't like to make a big deal about myself or anything...

hell, who am I kidding.

Cheers to mah birthday!

(see that blonde haired beauty with me on the bottom left? Yeah, that's Miss Lindsey, The Bargain Blonde herself. You didn't know we were besties?)

Besides.

It's not about the age, it's about the attitude honey.

ps. Go on over to SweetBef's blog and see what she has in store for you for the 4th Day of Blogger Christmas Giveaways!

pps. I will be spending my birthday with this bish and this bish. I can't wait!

Christmas magic and the 3rd day of Christmas Blogger Giveaway!

2011-12-15T08:32:00.000-08:00

Hey lovies!

Today I'm over at the uber-gorgeous Ashley's blog talking about the magic of Christmas, and why Christmas in Hawaii isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Oh, and Miss Ash has THEE cutest little boy on the planet.

(Ok, maybe the second cutest little boy on the planet *wink*)

So go on over and read it HERE!

Also, make sure to go enter the 3rd Day of Blogger Christmas Giveaways over at Chelsea's blog
Choose to be Happy! It's a good one!

A few things...

2011-12-14T13:03:00.000-08:00

How to get your toddlers to look decent for the annual Christmas card:

Nope.

Hell yes.

**************************************************

Seriously. What is cuter than old man Christmas jams for the little one?

******************************************************

And finally, make sure to stop by Ashley's blog Run With Me to enter the 2nd day's giveaway of the 12 Days of Blogger Christmas!

ps. I have been a horrible horrible blog friend lately. I have been slacking big time on commenting and I swear I am going to do better. I appreciate every single one of you who take the time to read and comment on this here lil' blog and I'm going to make it my new mission to return the favor to all ya'll. Yous da best!

That one time where alcohol WASN'T my friend

2011-12-13T14:42:00.000-08:00

Some things require liquid courage. At least in my never to be humble opinion.

Such as first dates, dinner with the in-laws, skinny dipping, church...

you know, just normal every day stuff.

Oh yeah, and snowboarding. I don't know about you, but I cannot (will not?) snowboard without it. I've tried, and I almost killed myself. (True story) But -- and this is a pretty big but -- there is a fine line between feeling that sweet nectar warm up your body and loosen up your limbs and drinking too much where you forget that in order to get down the mountain, you need to strap your other foot into the snowboard as well.

Or getting off the chairlift prematurely.

Which causes the lift operators to shut it down temporarily

while they help you out of a ditch. With everyone watching.

And cursing at you for being a damn fool.

Or mistaking fresh powder for an out-of-bounds area.

Where you end up getting lost.

And search and rescue has to come find you.

And makes you pay a fine.

And tells you never to come back again.

Not that I would know from experience or anything.

Anyway.

I do love to snowboard.

I'll save all the good stories for later, but for now, I'm going to give you two prime examples of how imbibing too much whilst partaking in this fabulous winter activity can cause more harm than good.

Just another life lesson from yours truly.

Don't say I never did anything for you.

#1. Drinking too much alcohol while snowboarding can make you think you are much more skilled than you actually are. See, I came across this photo of a snowboarder doing an awesome handstand, and I was bound and determined to recreate it for my own photo album. People would think I was such a badass if I could just pull it off.

I mean, really, it didn't look that hard.

Um.
I was close?
Maybe?
No?

That bish must have really strong arms. Either that or she snowboards sober, which doesn't make any sense to me at all.

#2. Drinking too much alcohol while snowboarding can give you a fat lip.

(Don't judge my makeup-less face. I can't look like a supermodel all the time)

And maybe one day I'll tell ya'll how that fat lip happened.

Once I remember.

ps. Make sure to enter The Bargain Blonde's amazing giveaway for our 12 Days of Blogger Christmas!!

pps. Merry Christmas anonymous! I just gave you another post that you can file away in your "Raven is a raging alcoholic" folder. God bless.

"How the Glitz Stole Christmas" Blog Swap Link-up!

2011-12-12T04:19:00.000-08:00

It's finally time to show off what ya'll got from the "How the Glitz Stole Christmas" blogger swap!

My awesome partner Dani sent me the coolest package ever. I had been wanting an infinite scarf forever but could never find one that I really liked, so imagine my surprise when I opened up my gift and there it way -- a white and gold specked infinite scarf that was just my style.

Me loves! And to go with, gold glittery nail polish and a fab sparkly bracelet.

I love it all Dani, thank you so much!

And now it's your turn! Just link up below and show off your swap gift, and then make sure to go visit everyone else to see what they got and make some new friends!

Special Announcement - 12 Days of Blogger Christmas!

2011-12-11T15:20:00.000-08:00

So. Two more weeks 'til Christmas. (And exactly one more week 'til mah birthday but we can talk about that a little later this week). A few awesome girls and I have put together a snazzy little event we like to call The 12 Days of Giveaways!

Twelve bloggers, each giving away something special just for you!

Here's how it works:

1. Runs from December 13th to the 24th

2. Winners are announced on the next days giveaway. It's a little chain reaction, if you will.

3. 12 chances to win!

Here is the line up:

First day of Christmas...Tuesday, December 13th:

The Bargain Blonde

Second day of Christmas...Wednesday, December 14th:

Run With Me

Third day of Christmas...Thursday, December 15th:

Choose to Be Happy

Fourth day of Christmas...Friday, December 16th:

Sweet Bef

Fifth day of Christmas...Saturday, December 17th:

Young & Fabulous

Sixth day of Christmas...Sunday, December 18th:

So Shay

Seventh day of Christmas...Monday, December 19th:

Keep Calm & Carry On

Eighth day of Christmas...Tuesday, December 20th:

Stephanie and Such

Ninth day of Christmas...Wednesday, December 21st:

Carissa Explains it All

Tenth day of Christmas...Thursday, December 22nd:

A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers...MEEEE!!

Eleventh day of Christmas...Friday, December 23rd:

Sabrina Says

Twelfth day of Christmas...Saturday, December 24th:

Adventures of Newlyweds

Merry Christmas to YOU!

PS. Don't forget that tomorrow, Monday, December 12th, we are linking up for Lindsey and I's "How the Glitz Stole Christmas" swap! See ya'll here tomorrow! I'm excited to see what everyone got!

BABY, BABY, it's cold outside

2011-12-09T11:40:00.000-08:00

First thing I do when I wake up in the morning before getting out of bed is check the weather on my phone. (I also check the weather in NYC, Chicago, Phoenix and Seattle. No idea why??) Anyway, this is what was going down in ye ol' Kennewick, WA...

Shiver me timbers is right! (Or as my husband likes to say, "it's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra in the middle of December!")

Anyway.

After I left the confines of my cozy bed, I looked outside and this is what I saw...

Beautiful foggy whiteness! And believe it or not, it did not snow overnight. Not even an drop. That is pure frost right there. Hell, I think it was too cold to snow! So what do you do when it's near frostbite outside? Take a nice, warm bubble bath.

Duh.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around these here parts.

PS. My formspring is up and running. So far, the only questions I've gotten are from anonymous asking me why I overpluck my eyebrows, how often me and the hubs do it and if I TRY to make myself sound like an alcoholic. Of course I answered those questions, which you can find HERE, however maybe someone who isn't anon wants to ask me something? Maybe something normal like "what is your favorite food" or "do you like tomatos?" Someone? Anyone? Bueller?

What inspires you?

2011-12-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

I just love good people.

That is all.

(My Taybug first posted this on facebook. Love you!)

PS. I joined formspring! Have ya'll heard about it? It's a cool little online forum where you can ask me any question your heart desires and I will answer every one. Ask me anything HERE!

A few things...

2011-12-06T10:58:00.001-08:00

A few things today...

I'm over at this gorgeous girls neck of the woods today talking about one of my most favoritist things eva.

You can read it HERE.

Second, everyone who participated in the "How the Glitz Stole Christmas" swap, we are linking up NEXT MONDAY, DEC. 12th. Get your posts ready to go and then link up either on my blog or The Bargain Blonde's blog and then we can all go visit each other and see what goods they received!

And finally, your guys' comments on my last post freaking cracked me up!! If you tried the "upsexy" thing and posted about it, let me know! Also, my friend Hannah did it and her post is the funniest. shit. ever. Seriously, I was crying. You can read it HERE.

Aaaannndd, Miss Hilary wrote a lil' post about me and also tried the "upsexy" joke. You can read that here!

Happy Tuesday lovers.

This shite cracks me up

2011-12-05T12:06:00.000-08:00

When I read Kim's blog this morning, I knew I had to take my cues from her and try this out myself. (Read hers here, girl is pretty funny). Below is the original text and the inspiration for the post:

First I tried it with my sister...

Score one!

Then I tried my BFF Leslie...

of course she fell for it.

Then I went for my nephew Greg...

(who is 5 years older than me, btw)

Got a pretty good laugh out of that one.

Next, I went for my mom.

Didn't exactly go as planned...

Come get my children? Thanks for your concern mom, but my children are just fine, thanks.

And finally, I went for the kill with the hubby.

I didn't even try texting him, because I knew he would either a) ignore me and not text back or b) call me on the phone and ask what the hell I was talking about. So I waited 'til he came home and got his reaction on video. I was bound and determined to get him to ask me the question by the way.

His response was a little underwhelming, to say the least.

My favorite parts:

When he says I am "destroying our family" and "Raven, would you like me to blow a gasket?"

I swear. Husbands.

Happy Birthday Britney

2011-12-02T15:45:00.000-08:00

Friends, today is the day.

Today we celebrate the birth of Miss Britney Jean Spears. Born into this world 30 years ago.

And with this event, I would like to dedicate this post to B herself.

Thank you for being my friend. My best friend, that is.

We've been through a lot together, you and I.

Like fun vacations

pool parties

being chased by paparazzi

late nights (and early mornings) out at da clubs

sharing our many secrets as to how to stay skinny

by mainly just using illegal drugs

(damn I looked good)

throwing milkshakes at unsuspecting passersby

and many, many more great memories.

You have meant so much to me over the years.

You have definitely had your good days...

and your bad days...

just know that I will always love you, and will never give up on you.

With it being your dirty thirty today, I feel it would be inappropriate to say "I told you so," but girl...

I TOLD YOU SO.

But don't worry sweetie, we will always have our pink wigs.

Happy Birthday baby girl.

I changed my hair AGAIN and other bits

2011-12-01T11:13:00.000-08:00

Husband is in the kitchen getting my bagel and lox ready, so I gots to get going because bagel and lox are like, seriously one of my favorite foods.

So just a few short points I'd like to make today.

My hair. I promise this will be one of the last posts where I narcissistically show you a million pictures of me and my hair. At least for this week anyway.

I now have lighter brown hair which I plan to stick with for while.

At least for this week anyway.

My littlest. I am just loving his curls and baby slobber that runs down his belly.

Also, I got what I thought was the cutest Seahawks tshirt but it turned out to be a dress. Of sorts.

He still rocks it.

Third. Remember that iphone video I showed you the other day? Well, I totally ripped that off from my cuz Taylor. Not the video, but the post idea. See, Taylor sent it to me and said she was gonna blog it, but I thought it was so funny so I raced to my computer as fast as I could and posted it first before she had a chance to.

See, I'm a really good friend like that.

Anyway, I felt kinda bad (not really) so I wanted to let you know that it was totally her idea first.

There. You happy now Tay?

And finally, I have been having explosive trouble with my email lately. Like, for the last two weeks, it has just gone major haywire. I'm pretty sure I opened something with a virus and it basically made my email vanish. However, it is all fixed and better than ever so if you asked me a question on a blog post or sent me an email and I didn't respond, please forgive. I didn't do it on purpose, and I promise I will answer all emails and or comments sent my way!

Love you guys! It's almost the weekend!

Push play

2011-11-29T13:13:00.000-08:00

I grew up playing the piano. My mom graduated college with a degree in music and my childhood memories are filled with me and my sisters peeking out behind her homemade cardboard barrier that was set up between the kitchen and the living room so she could teach her students without interruption. She taught me and my sisters until we no longer took her seriously and then she had an older, more serious and definitely more scary woman teach us piano.

My sisters quit playing pretty early on, but I didn't. Even though I was no longer taking lessons, I would sit at the piano and teach myself to play my favorite country songs. (My most memorable ones were Faith Hill's "It Matters to Me" and Clay Walker's "This Woman and This Man.") I also used to write my own music. I had notebook after notebook filled with songs I had written, and my dream was that someday, a famous country star would sing them. (I cannot sing for the life of me. It's really scary. Hence me only desiring to be the songwriter and not the singer.)

My mom still plays today, and she is the type who can sit down and see a piece of music for the first time and play it like she's known it forever. I am not that way, I have to teach myself slowly, note by note. (Don't even get me started on people who can play a song by ear. My aunt can do that and it just blows my mind.) When my mom got her baby grande piano, she passed on her old one to me, and it currently sits upstairs hosting picture frames and gathering dust.

I need to start playing again.

Which brings me to the reason for this post. I love music. And sometimes I find certain songs and artists that speak to me tremendously. And when someone actually has something to say?

That's the best kind of music.

The best kind of music, like the song below.

Listen. I think you'll love.

Lovers Without Love by Joshua James on Grooveshark

this road has over taught me lessons
about my lonely soul
i am young and getting wiser
soon i will grow old

trip my heart with misconceptions
fill my eyes with grief
let me make my own connections
in this endless sea

oh muscle, cars and endless bars
and shopping centers for the teams
high price propane and crack cocaine
and lovers without love like me

i see so much, my visions blurry
in the world i live
if we're to change them we must hurry
the devil's moving in
love and hate cannot see colors
like the human eyes
so priests, and preachers, parents, teachers,
don't act so damn surprised

it's the world we've made and living in
of greed, lust and poverty
of war and pride
teen suicide
and lovers without love like me

from topless dances to marilyn manson
and lovers without love like me

there's kids in gangs, we have coveted fame
we have sweat shops across the sea
we have abortive mothers
we hate each other

there's lovers without love like me

How did my husband and I end up on youtube?!

2011-11-28T13:23:00.000-08:00

Seriously. Who recorded this?

Total invasion of privacy.

But since it's already out there, might as well show ya'll.

{1. Don't judge us. We never claimed to be perfect.

2. Mom, don't watch.}

ps. All you Glitz & Glam swappers: Make sure your package is in the mail TODAY!

Popping in for just a sec

2011-11-25T16:41:00.000-08:00

Did everyone have a good Thanksgiving? Are you feasting on leftovers tonight? I sure hope so.

Us? We are having tacos tonight. It just seems natural to eat a little mexican food on the day after Thanksgiving.

This post will be kept short and sweet, as I just wanted to pop in and say once again how thankful I am for this awesome thing they call blogging and all the amazing friends I have met.

Now just a few iphone pics of what we have been up to over here on the Westside:

1. My sister lives in Pullman, WA (home of the Washington State Cougars) and I checked the weather that day and sent her the screenshot. One degree. Awesome.

2. G-man playing in the snow.

3. G-mans momma drinking an adult beverage while staying warm inside.

4. Our weekly family bath. Yes, we light candles, turn on the mood lighting and all pile in.

5. Baby oreo cookie face

5. Cousins. Can you say el-oh-vee-E?

6. Brother hugs. Check out the hand grab action little one has going on.

7. Baby cream cheese and bagel face.

9. Babe getting a blow dry in the sink.

10. Sporting the Jessica Simpson curly extensions.

11. Sophie, one of the twins. I DIE.

12. Stella, the other twin. I DIE x's two. Say hello to the cheeks!

On another note, I now have a youtube page! Nothing fancy, I will just be putting all my vlogs over there so they are all organized in one nice neat place. Wanna take a look at some of my past video blogs? Just click HERE. (I also added a "youtube" link over on the sidebar)

And finally, a quote I came across tonight on Pinterest from none other than the almighty talented Eminem. It sums up my feelings on people and life to a T.

And it really is

simple

as

that.

and thank you and thank you and thank you

2011-11-23T16:24:00.000-08:00

Today, and everyday, I'm thankful for this one:

this one:

and this one:

and of course, every one of YOU.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

P.S. REMINDER! For those of you participating in the "How the Glitz Stole Christmas" blogger swap, don't forget to get your shopping in this weekend. All packages have to be in the mail on or before next Monday, November 28th!

Everything you read on the internet is true

2011-11-22T12:43:00.000-08:00

Especially if you found it on Pinterest.

For example:

{pinterest}

{me in real life}

Well. Would you?

{pinterest}

{me in real life}

Yep.

{pinterest}

Photobombing.

I love it.

And then my mom, the professional photobomber if I ever saw one:

See?

Internet is all true.

Got some pinterest real life examples to share? Link up here!

A fluffy hair post

2011-11-21T11:59:00.000-08:00

Let's talk some hair today girls.

As I have mentioned a few times here on this blog, I have a major love-hate relationship with my hair. I have bleached it to the ends of the Earth and back and I really am surprised that it's still standing. Just a few of its many looks...

The reason why I show you all these looks yet again is because I am once again thinking of changing up the 'do. Don't worry, I won't be going back to that off-yellow color, and I definitely want to stay dark. I'm thinking maybe just a few thick caramel colored highlights. Who knows. I never do 'til I get in the salon chair so stay tuned for my final decision.

I know it will be hard for you to concentrate on anything else now that I sprung this little ditty on you, and for that I apologize. Because I'm sure you couldn't give a shit about my hair.

HOWEVER. Would you become slightly more interested if I told you I lost of chunk of it the other day? Because I did. See, I was trying this curling method that The Bargain Blonde had posted on her blog. I assumed by following her instructions, I would get luscious flowy curls like the pictures she depicted.

FAIL.

Just look what melted off onto my curling iron:

Guys, my head almost went up in flames. (And no, I do not have extentions, that is my real hair.) The room filled with smoke and the smell was horrific. I then touched my hair where it had singed and all this fell out:

a huge CHUNK of my precious silky hair.

I. was. horrified.

I immediately texted Lindsey aka The Bargain Blonde and told her it was all her fault. And that I was never speaking to her again. I mean, I guess this could have happened because the day before, I had dropped my curling iron in the bath (unplugged thank God) and maybe when I went to plug it in to curl my hair, it heated up to 1000 degrees and that's why my hair got burnt and fell out.

How was I supposed to know it would malfunction after getting immersed in water? I thought it had dried out...

I still blame Lindsey though.

And finally, have ya'll heard about this "sock bun curls" craze? I first read about it over at Karli's blog and watched this video below, in awe and totally excited to try this out:

And then after seeing pictures like this on pinterest, I was all balls to the wall excited:

So I did it, step by step, not missing a beat. And THIS my friends is what I ended up with:

I think not! Talk about crinkly ends and kinky curls. That does NOT look like the pictures above!
Nor does it look like the pictures below where they claimed they got those curls using the sock bun method:

I would like to see someone do this in real life, because I am not a believer. Have any of you tried this? And did you get gorgeous flowy luscious curls?

I think I'll just stick with the "bump-it," the only tried and true hair gimmick that has ever lived up to its promise.

Oh, and my husband mentioned feeling a little neglected here on le blog, so this is for you husband...

And in case you missed it, you can read our love story HERE.

Aliens, mullets and flying knives

2011-11-18T12:18:00.000-08:00

My madre and I made a little road trip to Seattle yesterday. Our annual doctors' appointments.

Yay.

We live about four hours East of Seattle, and to get there, you have to drive over Snoqualmie Pass.

This pass to be exact:

Looks treacherous, huh? And it is. But I'll save that story for a little later in the post, as our drive over to Seattle was pretty uneventful. (And no, we were not involved in the accident above. It happened a few years ago. I'm just showing it so you know exactly how dangerous a situation I was in last night, and how incredibly brave I was to not douse my fears in vodka during the drive.)

Ok so one mini bottle so doesn't count.

Anyway. Here's the rundown on our brief stay in the city...

Waiting in the waiting room at the hospital. I waited for quite a while. See, my mom's appointment was at 3 pm and mine was at 4:30. I hate waiting, so I had to find ways to entertain myself. Like taking pictures such as these and sending them to all my friends:

And then when I got bored with myself, I ever so conspicuously tried to take a picture of a rather fascinating woman sitting to my left with thee. worst. mullet. I have ever seen. And to make matters better, she was reading a Harry Potter book (swear) and I knew right then that I had to snap her picture and send it out in a mass text.

But then my flash totally went off and the conversation went something like this:

mullet lady: "did you just take my picture?"

me: "huh?"

mullet lady: "are you taking my picture?"

me: "no that was totally an accident."

mullet lady: "not only is that so rude, but if I find my picture on the internet then we are going to
have a problem. You better delete it right now!"

me: "Calm down, lady, seriously."

Thankfully I got called into my appointment soon after that and wasn't viciously attacked by a knock-off Kate Gosselin. However my appointment didn't go much better, as I totally got bullied into getting the flu shot, which I have always been against. Now my arm feels like I got punched by Mike Tyson, twice, and I'm certain I feel the flu coming on.

After that little exploitment, we headed downtown for some Benihana's. It was fabulous. They make your food right at the table and I had some of the best sushi I have ever tasted.

Here we are at dinner. Excuse my disguise as my facial features did not cooperate for this shot.
(Aka I just looked ugly.)

However, our dining experience was not without danger, as our personal chef was showing off his nifty little moves when a very sharp utensil went flying across the table.

FLEW. If someone had been sitting right across from him, it would have no doubt knocked over whatever beverage was sitting in front of them and maybe even given them a bruise. Major lawsuit action. And then my mom jokingly made a comment about the chef being "new" which royally pissed him off so as you can imagine, the rest of our time there was pretty awkward. I tried to drink enough sake to ease the tension but I think I just made things worse.

Of course, we had to take a few pictures on our way back to the car, as tourists do.

My mom and I wore similar boots. I get my fashion sense from her.

And then it was time to head back. It was dark, cold, and an hour into our ride back home it started to snow. Heavily. And all of a sudden, there we were, in my husband's ginormous beast of a truck, all alone. I shit you not. This was the view from our car:

Nothing. No one. Not one other single headlight. This is not some back ally type road. It is a major highway which is usually clogged with tons of traffic. But not tonight. It was just us. My mom said that in 57 years, she had never seen the pass like this. We kept thinking of reasons that this could possibly be:

Maybe they closed the road behind us and we were the last ones to get through.

Maybe a spaceship came down and took everyone to Pluto.

Maybe everyone else knows something that we don't.

Maybe we're in Heaven.

Maybe we're dreaming.

We never did figure it out, but for miles and snowy miles it was just us.

Awesome thing about that is you can drive down the middle of the highway. You can slam on your breaks and see how many donuts you can turn. You can get out of the car and take pictures with the snow falling all around you.

You can basically do whatever the f*%k you want since you are the only ones on the planet at that moment!

We finally did make it home. Safe and sound in one piece.

If not still as confused as ever.

Happy weekend friends.

Just a few awesome things for your Wednesday

2011-11-16T06:45:00.000-08:00

I'm not really blogging here today, but I am over at this gorgeous girls place...

talking about how to keep a man. You can read it HERE.

Also, my little sweet cheeks asked me a super important question...

which you can read all about HERE.

And just a lil' something that made me laugh from pinterest...

and I only laugh because it's true.

(you can follow me on pinterest here)

love love!

Before I had kids...

2011-11-14T00:02:00.000-08:00

Before I had kids, I never thought I would let them eat dog food. But when you think about it, the ingredients that are in dog food is probably much healthier than the shit that's in chicken nuggets or McDonalds cheeseburgers. I mean, just because it's called "dog food" does not mean it can't be eaten by humans. Or that it isn't healthy for that matter.

I mean, who's to judge?

Before I had kids, I imagined I would be a "cleanly" mother. And I definitely would not let my naked baby sit in the pan we were about to cook dinner in that night.

And I definitely imagined that if that did happen, I would clean said pan before cooking our food in it.

But that was all before I had kids.

(And no, it doesn't make the food taste any different)

Before I had kids, I never thought I would have to grab my camera and snap a picture real quick before comforting them when they were in a sad, vulnerable position.

It's like a secret moms club that no one wants to admit they are a part of but everyone does it.

And before I had kids, I had no idea the immensity of the f*@K I would not give when people gave me their opinions about how to raise my children, such as:

the length of my child's hair...

letting my kids be naked in public...

or letting my three year old paint his toenails black...

And now that I do have kids?

Don't ever wanna go back.

P.S. My little love bug taylorboo got engaged this weekend! If you don't know her, you should definitely get to know her. She is most definitely someone I consider to be a very best friend of mine.

Visit her blog HERE and wish her a congrats on her upcoming nuptials? It's gonna be an awesome wedding, not to mention that yours truly will be a bridesmaid and my two little angel muffs will be the ring bearers. First time ever in a little penguin suite. Momma will be so proud.

It's Christmas at my house and a dog named Bella

2011-11-11T13:34:00.000-08:00

Let's just cut to the chase:

I have all my Christmas decorations up. Actually, they have been up for a few days now. See, the older I get, the wiser I get, and since putting up and taking down all the Christmas decorations is a royal pain in the posterior, I have learned that it makes it worth it's while (for me anyway) to put them up pretty early on and leave them up well into February.

It runs in the family also. My mom never got around to taking her Christmas tree down last year.

Like, at all.

Exhibit A: Below is a picture of my mom's living room from my sister's baby shower, which was held in August.

You may all think that's just plain batty, but look who doesn't have to go through all the trouble of hauling out those boxes from the basement and putting their Christmas tree up.

My mom, that's who.

We're a lot smarter than we look.

Anyway, incase you don't believe me, here are a few pictures from Yuletide de la Smith household:

(That flashy gold star eyesore ornament will be taken down. I only put it up there
because my 3 year old begged me to.)

See how pretty the tree looks? However, upon further inspection, you will see that the bottom half of the tree is missing something:

ornaments. And it's missing ornaments because le little one likes to take them off and play fetch with the dog. So our Christmas tree will be half naked this year. Just gives it a little more personality I say.

I'm all about the sparkle, glitter and glow for the Holidays.

Kind of like our Christmas blog swap that The Bargain Blonde and I are hosting called
"How the Glitz Stole Christmas." You only have til TONIGHT AT 5 PM to enter, so hurry and click HERE!

And I couldn't leave ya'll for the weekend without mentioning something else that has tugged at my heartstrings a little. Bella is a precious little pup that needs surgery for her leg. Here she is below with her beautiful momma Ashley...

It's a pretty expensive surgery, so Ashley opened up the most darling shop called Fetch & Co.

It's filled with the cutest stuff ever, seriousy, take a look at just some of the newest items she added:

I'm in love with the little gun charm (you know, since I like to bring out my bad-girl side from time to time) and there are many more cute things in her shop.

Take a look? The money from the shop will go towards her little yorkie's much needed surgery, and you will love her handcrafted awesomeness. Win, win. (You can read more about Bella and her upcoming surgery here.)

(click on photo to go to shop)

Happy weekend friends.

Reminder!

2011-11-10T09:46:00.000-08:00

No blogging from me today, I just had to pop in real quick and remind you that there is only one day left to sign up to participate in the "How the Glitz Stole Christmas" Blog Swap!

It's gonna be fun girls!

If you haven't signed up yet, just click HERE and let us know you want to participate!

Our love story

2011-11-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

A few of ya'll have asked me about my love story, i.e., how we met, fell in love, and all the romantical, enchanting fairy-tale like things that happened along the way.

And at that point, I usually turn around to see who is standing behind me that they are talking to.

Because mushy gooshy frosting on top sweetness? So not me. I only get mushy when recalling that one winter I spent snowboarding my college education away and many a good times was had, the best one involving a shower floor, a pair of scissors, trimming a little from the nether region (not mine!) and one unsuspecting roommate.

God those were good times.

Anyway.

Basically, our love story goes something like this:

After him asking over and over to take me out, I finally said "geez, alright already!" and we met at a local restaurant. I brought my girlfriend with me for moral support (because that's what you do on first dates, I presume) and the three of us proceeded to get pretty tippled on red wine and tequila shots (something else I am sure you do on a first date). Somehow, we all made it back to his house (by way of a cab, simmer down folks) .

It was the first time I had ever been at his house, obviously. The three of us were just sitting in the living room, chatting away, when I said I had to use the bathroom. While I was away doing my bizz, my best girlfriend jumped at her chance and started telling my now husband that she was a much better match for him, and that she had liked him for some time now and he would be much more suited to ride off into the sunset with her.

Hooker.

Anyway, some time had passed since I went to use the lavatory, so Rob went looking for me.

You'll never guess where he found me.

Without being too graphic, let's just say that it involves passing out face down, a few clothing items misplaced, a bed, a white down comforter, and a lot of red wine regurgitated.

And then we lived happily ever after.

Then end.

A letter to my boys

2011-11-08T03:00:00.000-08:00

To my two boys, the loves of my life and the reason my life is worth living:

just a few words from your momma...

Treat people kindly. Respect the elderly. Share your toys.

Laugh a lot.

Violence is not the answer, but self defense is.

Never, ever start a fight. But you better damn well finish it.

If I ever find out you are being a bully or partaking in bully-like activity, be prepared to come home to nothing more in your room than a bed, one blanket, and one change of clothes. That includes underwear. Everything will be taken away from you. You will have no privileges and I can only imagine the talking to you will get from your father. Believe me when I say you will feel like you are at the strictest, toughest boarding school ever if you bully another human being. That is, if we don't decide to just send you away to one.

That goes for sticking up for the person you see getting bullied also. Standing back and doing nothing is just as bad as being the bully yourself. Remember that.

If you want to paint your fingernails pink, paint 'em pink.

However I would prefer you go with "bad-ass black."

(also, don't overdo it on the self tanner like your momma tends to do)

I will at times force you to do things that put you outside your comfort zone. I'll never put you in danger, but sometimes we all need a little "push" in order to overcome our fears.

You can thank me later.

I hope you become strong men, the leader of your household, the provider for your family and the ultimate protector. I hope through my teaching and example that one day you will find a woman to marry who upholds Christian values and has strong moral character. Someone who is not tarnished by the feminist movement and who believes in standing by and sticking with her man.

I hope that you will always see the value in that and will in turn treat your woman like a goddess, always put her on a pedestal and never think twice about swimming through shark infested waters just to bring her a lemonade.

I hope you always stand up for what is right, even if it's not the popular opinion.
Especially if it's not the popular opinion.

I hope you to stand by your convictions, keep your word and always stay loyal to those whom you love. If you mess up even once, it's hard to get that trust back.

On the other hand, I hope you know that you are not, in fact, superman. You will fail and you will fall down. But it's how you get up and start again that is the true measure of a man.

I hope you always stay close to your momma, but once you are married, your wife is your first priority, and she is the one who matters most. If you marry the right woman, then she should be.

I hope you raise your own children with an iron first, so they can see what it means to be a strong man and father. However, I hope you aren't too tough that you aren't afraid to cry with your children and show vulnerability. And to always tell them you love them. Tell them everyday. They need that.

Also, get down on the floor and wrestle with them every chance you get.

Thank you for letting me take gazillions of pictures of you. Because we both know that when I present something like this:

what you really feel about my always shoving the camera in your face is this:

Thank you for letting me get those moments on film so I can keep them with me forever.

Also, please forgive me for putting your guys' hair in a ponytail.

And for dressing you up like a girl.

(In my defense, this only happened once)

Never betray your brother. When the whole world is against you, your brother will never leave your side. You may not believe me now, but he IS your best friend.

Respect your country. You may not always agree with the person in power, but remember, it could be a lot worse elsewhere.

Don't believe that you know it all. That couldn't be further from the truth and it just makes you look silly. A wise man knows that he is never done learning.

Hold on to your innocence for as long as possible.

Work hard. Very hard. Get your hands dirty. Your dad and I will always spoil you with love, but when it comes to making a living, that will be completely up to you. Even if we have millions by the time we die, it won't just be handed over to you. You will have to work for every penny.

Please don't be a cat person. Your mom hates cats.

On the other hand, always have a dog in the house. On your worst days, that dog will love you unconditionally. He always will. Even if you forget to feed him or leave him out in the snow. THAT, my friend, is true love right there.

Always open the door for women and the elderly. Give up your seat for the pregnant. Chivalry is becoming a lost art, it's up to you guys to keep it alive.

Let the kids win.

Always lead, never follow.

Unless you are following Jesus Christ.

Just try never to let Him get too far out of your sight.

And always, always, alwaysalwaysalwaysalwaysalways

know just how much I love you.

Dear Anonymous and Child Torture

2011-11-07T03:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Anonymous:

Usually, I wouldn't give a crap about you and your silly little antics. Not everyone has to like me or what I have to say, but when you cross a line and start talking about my kids? My parenting? Accuse me of ridiculous things and call me fat? You will be done away with. (The fat thing was a good one, btw). Pussyfoot commenting will no longer be an option here on this blog. If you want to comment, you will have to make yourself known. I'm cuttin' off your lifeline little precious. You had your fun but now you'll have to obsess over me from afar. I suggest maybe you focus more on your career goals so you can one day move out of your parents house. Now go back to playing farmville on facebook for 10 hours a day and trying in vain to perfect the ever-so-trendy "sock bun."

Now, moving on to much more important things, HOW THE HELL DID I MISS THE JIMMY KIMMEL MEMO ABOUT TORMENTING OUR KIDS?!

Seriously, I'm pretty upset about this. I could have been on TV!!!

I know it's past Halloween and I know I'm a little late on the video I'm about to show, but if you haven't already seen it, take a look at what I'm talking about...

Yeah. Now do you see why I'm pissed that I didn't know about this earlier? However, being someone who never wants to let a learning opportunity pass my child by, I decided to just go ahead and do it on my own anyway. You can watch below.

What is it with being a parent and getting joy out of stuff like this?

p.s. Don't forget to enter the "How the Glitz Stole Christmas" Blog Swap! And make sure to tell your friends! Tweet it, blog it, pin it, etc.! The more, the merrier!

"How the Glitz Stole Christmas" Blog Swap!

2011-11-04T00:01:00.000-07:00

Seasons Greetings boos! Lindsey and Raven here from The Bargain Blonde and A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers!

This week we realized we were headstrong into the month of November, which means Thanksgiving feasts soon, snow (for some of us anyway) and Christmas and Hanukkah are on the horizon! We don't know about you girls, but this time of year is our absolute favorite so we wanted to kick this month off right.

The holiday atmosphere, the closeness of friends and family, Santa's magic, giving back, presents, shimmer and shine, etc; All of these elements led us to create our FIRST ever ....

"How the Glitz Stole Christmas Blog Swap!"

We figured who doesn't love gifts and meeting other bloggers? We sure love us some bling and we're sure y'all do too! So let's swap some glitz and glam gifts this holiday season.

Anything goes, but it has to be glitzy, glamourous, shiny, shimmery, sparkly, glittery...you get the idea! This swap has a $25 spending limit! Ideas include cold weather accessories, shimmery makeup, sparkly clothing/jewelry, glittery ornaments, etc. Whatever your little glitz heart desires. Official rules are as follows:

Want to participate? Just leave one of us a comment with your email address and we will randomly match you with someone else and notify you of the next steps. Then when we all receive our goodies, we will link up back here and everyone can go to each others blogs and see what they got! A great way to have fun, get some glam presents and meet new bloggers!

So spread the word and tell your bloggy friends to come get swapped up with us for the first ever "How the GLITZ stole Christmas". Sounds complicated, but we swear it's not! At all. And if anyone has any questions about how this works, do NOT hesitate to e-mail one of us or leave your questions in the comments.

You ladies down for some bedazzled fun? We are!

XOXO,
Lindsey & Raven

Skinny Bitch?

2011-11-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

Preface: This post is my opinion only, however my opinion comes from researching the facts about food and what we put in our bodies. I have highlighted many articles in this post, so if you want to know more, you can click on any highlighted (in pink!) link.

I have always, always been conscious about what I eat and how I look. From way back in Elementary school when I ate almost nothing and my fifth grade teacher gave my parents a call out of concern because she thought I was way too obsessed about food and with being thin. And I totally was. I remember being in High School (which wasn't that long ago fyi) and counting every single calorie that went into my mouth. Lunch was usually a small bag of pre-sorted cheerios, nuts, chocolate chips and marshmallows. I also made my parents take me to the gym before I was of driving age (pre-teens years) and I would work out for hours before having them come pick me up.

Basically, I was obsessed with being skinny.

Still am, if you want the honest truth.

However, over the years my thoughts and obsessions have shifted away from "just being skinny" and more towards "eating right to be thin and healthy." (Another fyi? I am nowhere near where I want to be in the number-on-the-scale department, but hey, who is?) It really started heating up when I was pregnant with baby number one. I was super obsessed with researching everything I could to have a healthy pregnancy slash healthy baby. I spent more time on google than I did sleeping. I read gobs of books about what I should eat, shouldn't eat, should do, shouldn't do, etc. I remember eating my weight in asparagus (I'm seriously surprised my baby didn't come out bright green) but I also remember eating a lot of chicken nuggets and fries and drinking milk by the gallon. Not that I overdid anything. I worked out religiously while pregnant and gained a total of 24 pounds.

After baby came, I lost the weight pretty quickly, but there was still that "skinny obsessed" part of me so when I was at the bookstore one day and saw a book titled Skinny Bitch, I bought it right away. I figured it would give me great diet info to be, well, skinny.

What I wasn't expecting at all was that it was not, in fact, a diet book, but reading it would change my whole entire perspective about food and it would change my lifestyle habits forever. The title of the book kind of gives people the wrong idea. I have suggested it to a lot of people and right away they turn their nose up, thinking, "Really? A book on how to be skinny? How unhealthy and like I need to read yet another diet book." But it isn't a diet book. Everyone I have talked to who has read it? Life changing. It has so much incredible information that you will be left stunned. And disgusted.

I promise you.

And then when people hear it's a book geared towards going vegan? That really turns them off. I'll be the first to tell you that I am not vegan, nor do I plan to be. I can't give up cheese. I tried once, didn't work so well. Vegetarian? After reading this book, I went hardcore vegetarian for a solid nine months. And I lost so much weight (the healthy way!), was the thinnest I had been in YEARS, and felt so good and had so much energy. Then I got pregnant again and kind of fell off the veg wagon so to speak. And the result? Gained all my weight back. (Pregnancy not being an issue. This was after baby number two). And to this day I don't feel nearly as good or as healthy as I did during those nine months. So?

Going back to the veg. Because this is how I looked when I did so before:

And don't take this as me being all "look at me! Look how skinny I was!", because right now I am a good 25 pounds heavier than I was in those pictures. And as much as I want to look like that again? To be that thin? I want to FEEL like I did back then. I felt so good, so healthy, so....clean. Because after reading Skinny Bitch? You will NOT be able to eat meat (or drink milk, but that is coming in a minute) without wanting to vomit. Only read it if you're willing and ready to give that up. (Side not: This is not me saying to become a vegetarian if you want to get skinny and healthy. I'm only giving my opinion and saying what has worked for me.)

The book. Get it. Amazing.
(You can read a FABULOUS review of the book right HERE. The author shares her opinions about the book good AND bad. They also have a pregnancy version called Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven for any of you pregnant gals out there).

Another life changer for me? The movie Food, Inc. Kind of has the same theory as Skinny Bitch, but instead of going vegan, they promote organic products. There is so much the farming industry does not want us to know. And what they don't want us to know is killing us. Literally killing us. You can NOT trust the FDA or the USDA. Here is a short movie trailer from Food, Inc. I highly suggest you rent and watch the whole thing. You will be stunned, once again.

Both the book I mentioned and the movie above give such insightful and shocking information. Such as what has happened to our chicken consumption, or rather, what has happened to our chickens:

That's not normal.

Moving on to milk. It does a body good?

That's right. Pus. The same "stuff" that comes out of pimples. Don't believe me? Read here.

I mentioned a few posts back that neither of my kids have ever had milk. They are almost two and four, and have lived their whole lives without cow's milk. Again, I know this can be a touchy subject for people who absolutely loooooooove milk (which I did before I knew the truth) and this is my opinion only and you are more then welcome to disagree. (Even though it's the truth).

So what do my kids drink? Organic rice milk. And water. Besides the occasional Pepsi sip my dad will sneak to my youngest (yes, dad, I see you) my kids have never had anything other than rice milk and water. (And let me also clarify that I am not saying I feed my kids perfectly. My kids get way too much sugar and chocolate and chips and cheetos and so on. Work in progess, people, work in progress).

But I don't want to fill this post up with a whole bunch of scientific information (that's why I highlighted all the links, so you can look if you please) so let's just move on to what a normal day is like in the Smith household. Or rather, what I aspire for our daily food regime to be.

I love vegetables. I guess that's where my wanting to be a vegetarian comes in handy. Like, if I had to choose one food group that I could not live without, vegetables would be it. Just love. On any given day, my countertop looks like this:

and my fridge is full of this:

Tons of veggies. And cheese. I love goat cheese, and make myself a veggie wrap at least once daily. What's in my wrap? Goat cheese, onions, green onions, tomatoes, lettuce and doused with a good dose of Frank's Red Hot. (Best. Stuff. Ever.) I put on everything but the lettuce and microwave it for one minute. It melts the goat cheese and makes the veggies a little soft. (I've also been trying to use the microwave a lot less. In the future, I might start putting my wrap in the oven for a few minutes to heat it up. I need to research the potential dangers of microwaves a little more).

(pic taken before lettuce was put on)

Btw, I'm no food blogger, so my pictures won't be all professional looking or anything ;)

What else do I do with all these veggies? My two favorites are veggie pizza and stuffed peppers. Super easy and seriously? Mouth watering. Who needs pepperoni and sausage?

(I don't have exact recipes but you can look them up online and find something similar. I also put a lot of goat cheese in the peppers)

A little trick I use to get the bambinos to eat their fruit? I crush up whole grain cheerios in a bag, slice up some bananas, then shake them in the bag so they are coated with the crushed cheerios. I learned this trick from a friend who said her child didn't like picking up things like bananas and strawberries because they were "slimy," as is a complaint with most kids. Problem solved! And you can use this cheerio trick with just about any kind of slimy food.

So yes. This momma right here is going to change my eating habits aka my lifestyle and start living healthy. Will I have a cookie here or there? That's kind of like asking will I have a glass of wine tonight? I'm no saint and no one can be perfect all the time. But sometimes after receiving certain information, you can't go back and you can't forget what you have learned. Trust me, if you read Skinny Bitch and watch Food, Inc.? You won't be the same. Sounds silly, but it's true. And if you do? Please let me know! I love discussing things like this.

Let me know your thoughts!

p.s. Two more fantastic books about learning the truth about food is In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan and Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver, about a family that, for one year, only bought food raised in their own neighborhood or food that they grew themselves. Very enlightening.

p.p.s. I know I said I would talk about our alternative vaccine schedule on this post but after writing it, it just became so long that I will save that for a separate post, to come soon, promise!

Had to share real quick

2011-11-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

Still working on my real posts for this week, but I had to share this little video real quick of my 1.5 year old reading in the bathtub. (I took this video with my iphone and I'm still trying to figure out how to work it, so the vid is a weird size.)

I believe in ghosts! I boo! I boo!

2011-11-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

Or so my three year old say.

He has been introduced to the world of Casper and his not-so-nice friends, so he makes sure that our dog Savi sits outside his door every night to make sure that no ghosts get in his room.

His exact words: "Momma, tell Savi to make the ghosts go to Coltie's room, 'cause they can't come in my room.

Me: "Ok sweetie, I will send the ghosts to your little brothers room so they eat him first and then they will be full so they won't come looking for you."

(giggles) "Ok Momma! Thank you!"

Happy Halloween from the littlest Smiths.

I've been a little uninspired lately with the whole blogging thing, however I did get a little rejuvenated with a few posts I wrote and have planned for this week, such as "Blog Snobs" and a post on food. The latter sounds oh so exciting, I know, but I'll be explaining why my kids have never once drank milk (and never will) and how I'm trying desperately to live a vegetarian lifestyle.

See you later this week friends!

I love new friends

2011-10-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

When I see something good, I know it!

Had to join in on this fab link-up this Halloween weekend.

Just a few lil' things about myself if you're new here.

1} I love to blog. I even wrote my own rules titled Blogging 101.

2} I quit college after two semesters to go snowboarding. I like to think it's the best decision I ever made. Some beg to differ.

3} I love my hubs. We are fifteen years apart in age and I married him when I was 23.

Sometimes he doesn't get this whole "blogging thing" but hey! I did get him to do a vlog with me!

4} I have two little angel babies who are my life. Born almost exactly two years apart.

And I swear they like each other.

and 5} My hair has been dyed every color under the sun. I am currently sporting the super dark locks, which my mother tells me suits me best. She did name me 'Raven', after all.

So if you are new here from this awesome link-up, welcome! I love making new blog friends and finding new blogs to read and soak up all my time so I can neglect my children even more.

If you aren't new here? Well, you know I already love you to pieces!

Now why don't you go link-up and make new friends?

Get your scare on

2011-10-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

Running a little late for a quick trip to Target to get last minute Halloween essentials, so I will keep this short and goulish. Halloween parties tomorrow anyone? For you? The kids? The dogs?

Kids' costumes are done and ready to go.

I can't wait to show you all the pictures, but for now, here are a few from last year's festivities...

Oh hey, you wanna see my 3-year old get taken down by a girl?

Step One.

Step Two.

Step Three.

Poor boy has a lot to learn.

Happy Halloween weekend!

p.s. Here is a sneak peak of what I will be this year...

BOO!

Baby fever

2011-10-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

Who me?

Blazes no!

But I did go see my sister and her precious little baby girls the other day. Oh mah word. Sweetness is all I can say. Well, that's not exactly true. The littlest one actually projectile vomited all over my sister, and then she managed to push her poo outside the confines of her diaper, and we all know where that leads.

So baby fever?

Not for me.

But it doesn't mean that I am not completely in love with my two nieces and love them already like they were my own. I mean, how could you not want to just munch up those cheeks?

They are adored and doted upon, no question.

Being over at my sister's house and being around newborns again made me a tad bit nostalgic (soak this up while it lasts friends, I don't get this way too often) and I came home and looked back at old pictures. A lot of women say they love being pregnant. I did not.

And I say that with a little flinch, because I didn't have not one single pregnancy problem. Both my pregnancies were textbook perfect. So I say I flinch a little because I know that some women have had really bad experiences, and I don't want to get punched in the face when I complain about nothing more than just having a baby in my tummy.

Anyway, I dug up some pics of me whilst with child, want to see?

And I hope these pictures aren't too provocative for the webosphere, I mean, Erica's ~~underwear that she wears in public~~ short shorts are way more offensive than a pregnant gal putting it all out there in style.

Too much?

And then on March 1st, 2008 came Gunner James...

(three days old)

And then on March 14th, 2010 came Colt Daniel Le...

(photos by Andrea Starr Photography)

And Smith family complete!

One more pic real quick, just because it cracks me up every time...

Happy baby fever.

A Momma's Desires and Pacifiers

My thoughts on vaccines: A little deeper

If I were President

A few randoms

A few things...

Why my kids do not get vaccines

Just a few things...

My Casa: Before and After: The Bathroom

Can a one year old ski?

Best of instragram

A little truth about child rearing...winter edition.

Well I don't remember it that way...

I heart tattoos link-up!

A few things...and info for the tattoo link-up!

When the truth is hilarious

The accent vlog

A few announcements

Bachelor recap #2

Both ends, baby, both ends

Best Bitches

Tattoos

My thoughts on The Bachelor

I think I'm still hungover from Saturday

Yep, I'm never drinking again

New Year.

Christmas morning

Bad Santa!

On the 10th Day of Christmas {Giveaway} *CLOSED*

A few things...

The Birth Story

It was love at first blate!

5th Day of Blogger Christmas Giveaway!

Happy freaking birthday

Christmas magic and the 3rd day of Christmas Blogger Giveaway!

A few things...

That one time where alcohol WASN'T my friend

"How the Glitz Stole Christmas" Blog Swap Link-up!

Special Announcement - 12 Days of Blogger Christmas!

BABY, BABY, it's cold outside

What inspires you?

A few things...

This shite cracks me up

Happy Birthday Britney

I changed my hair AGAIN and other bits

Push play

How did my husband and I end up on youtube?!

Popping in for just a sec

and thank you and thank you and thank you

Everything you read on the internet is true

A fluffy hair post

Aliens, mullets and flying knives

Just a few awesome things for your Wednesday

Before I had kids...

It's Christmas at my house and a dog named Bella

Reminder!

Our love story

A letter to my boys

Dear Anonymous and Child Torture

"How the Glitz Stole Christmas" Blog Swap!

Skinny Bitch?

Had to share real quick

I believe in ghosts! I boo! I boo!

I love new friends

Get your scare on

Baby fever

On the 10th Day of Christmas {Giveaway} CLOSED